I am so sorry in advance
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Deans eyes flick back to green as he stares at the lifeless body, all of its weight falling into his arms. Dean takes the blood covered blade out of the corpse and holds it in his shaking hand. "Cas" is all he manages to whisper as tears stream down his face. He thinks about the monster he has become. The people he has killed. Sammy, Mary, Crowley, and now Castiel, his best friend. The tears grow stronger as he pulls the body into his arms and cradles it there. "Cas please. I need you." Dean stutters as he goes into a state of denial. This can't be happening. He couldn't have done this. No. He looks down at Castiel with his pleading green eyes. "It can't be. No. No please. CAS! CASTIEL PLEASE!"
He hears faint whispers "Dean." He doesn't pay attention. Instead he takes the blade he used to stab his best friend, and puts it into his chest. "No one else can get hurt. No one else" those were his last words as the life drains from his eyes. Everying went black.
"DEAN!" Dean shoots bolt upwards panting hard. Then tears came. All of them pouring out of his eyes as he runs to the bathroom and proceeds to throw up the pie he ate just hours before. He sits back next to the toilet and sobs his eyes out. He hears foot steps come closer to the door way. "Dean. Are you alright?" The voice of an angel. His angel. Flashbacks of his dream came back and the tears fall harder and faster. "Castiel. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Dean repeats these words putting his hands over his face trying to hide himself from reality.
"Dean. What happened? Please tell me. These nightmares are getting worse." Castiel moved closer. Dean shot his hand up "I don't want to hurt you. I'm a monster. I killed him. I killed you. I'm a monster." He stood up slightly wobbling and headed for the door that was being blocked by his best friend.
"Dean. Where are you going." Castiel wouldn't let him pass without an explination. When Dean said nothing, cas put his hand on deans shoulder as a sign of comfort. Dean looked into the bright blue eyes. Castiel saw the sadness and brokenness. Without much thought he pulled dean into a light hug, causing dean to make a small sound that had a mixture of fright, and relaxation
"Cas I'm so sorry. You need to stay away before I hurt you." Dean pulled back from the hug and stared into the blue oceans once again. "Dean, you are not a monster. I will not leave you, ever. I am here for you. So is Sam. We care about you." Dean gave up. He knew how his story would end. He knew he would end up killing all of the people he loved and cared about. "Dean please listen to me. You. Are. Not. A. Monster." Dean didn't believe a word. He couldn't. More tears started to fall. "I killed Sammy. I killed mom. I killed you. I killed everyone. I have to stop myself. I have to." Dean pushed past Castiel and headed for the door leading to the garage. He didn't exactly know what he was going to do, but he knew he was going to need high amounts of alcohol.
"Dean. Please don't go. Please." The last please in Castiel's voice was shakey and weak. Like he was going to cry. Dean had never heard nor seen Castiel cry. He turned around to see his angel tearing up. Castiel swallowed hard, trying to keep his emotions held together, but it was no use. The first tear fell, and Dean was in shock. He couldn't leave Castiel like this, but he also didn't want to hurt him. "Castiel. I can't hurt you. I care about you too much." Dean said turning back around, not being able to look his angel in the eyes. "Dean. You leaving me is insanley painful. More than if you took an angel blade to my heart. I need you here with me Dean. Please. You are not a monster. The mark was the only thing turning you into a demon. You had nothing to do with it. The mark is gone Dean. You are not a monster anymore. Please. Stay." Dean fell to his knees. As Castiel was talking, Dean was crying harder and harder.
His angel. The one who kept him going.
His angel. The one who helped him through everything
His angel. The one who was always there for him
