An Eights Fear (book 2)

Chapter Thirteen

NEW UPDATING CYCLE! I know this won't make you happy and I will work on making it more often but for now I will be updating every single Friday, as for a cover contest, you will soon be aware of that, but not just yet my folks. LETS JUST GET RIGHT INTO THE STORY.

*editing note* I know I said it's Friday's but I couldn't wait to post this one, normal days are Fridays but BC I'm feeling nice I'll post this today on a Wednesday.

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            Before I could even process what he just did, to Chasity, I mean out of all people, I ran, as fast as I could. He moved on, I knew it was too good to be true.

But part of me didn't allow myself to believe that, no he cares about me, maybe he's just trying to forget about what's going on right now, but maybe he isn't. I ran back to my room as fast as I could be trying to wake myself up. "Please Madeleine just wake up for crying out loud it's been too long!" I yelled to myself, I need to wake up, I need to talk to Cal, about everything. "Stop being so helpless and careless, you're hurting the people around you. Your hurting yourself." I said, the last part quieter than the others.

            I kept yelling at myself, at my lifeless body right next to me, nobody could hear me, I couldn't even hear myself but I didn't stop, sometime after all the yelling I eventually found myself very woozy and layed down on the couch. Maybe sleep will help, I know I won't wake up but let me sleep and I can maybe then wake up and figure this out. My thoughts reminding me of a moment, before all this happened, the day before the party where I was put into my comma.

            "Oh Cal," I muttered as his lips made their way to my jaw, I never got used to this, after he kissed me I was done for. I'm all his, only two people ever made me feel this way. But Cal did it slightly different, and better, during all of it I felt safe, and never felt pressured, every step we took in this- whatever it is, he made sure I was okay with it. I never did anything I regretted with Cal, I trusted him, not enough to tell him my past, but enough to know he'd never do anything to hurt me.

            He pulled away from me only to cup my face in his hands, his thumb rubbing over my swollen lip, the swollen lip he gave me. I batted my eyelashes at him making full eye contact making him sigh. "Madeleine, oh Madeleine, the things you do to me, you make me fear myself." I gave a confused look at the last part of what he just said.

            Fear himself, because of me, why would Cal ever fear himself because of me? How does one put that effect on a person, fear what? Fear what he can do? Maybe he fears me, fears what I'll get him into if he really picks me, which by now, that might be a serious option. "Fear yourself?" I asked.

            "I, its fine don't worry, just kiss me please." He begged, I wanted to pressure what he said until I realized something I can't believe I didn't think of earlier, I'm talking to Cal. He can hear me, I can kiss him and he can feel it, this can't be possible, I'm in a coma. I wanted to pressure what he was going to say, I wanted to ask what happened to myself, I wanted answers but right now, I wanted Cal. I needed Cal, and I couldn't stop myself before hoisting my legs around his waist.

            His arms holding me in place while my hands pulled his hair, his hands went lower on my back and this time I didn't stop it, I wasn't going to stop it, if all I have with him is tonight than, no I can't do that again. But it felt so good, no one would ever have to know, Cal knows what he's doing, I trust him with myself. "Madeleine, how far are we taking this?" He finally asked only pulling away for a second before kissing me again, his tongue slightly hitting my top lip.

            I didn't want to answer, I knew I couldn't take this any farther than its going but I couldn't stop it, I've dreamed of feeling this way since I was a thirteen-year-old. Not just this way because were kissing but this way entirely, my dad was never there. As a kid my dad was never there for me so I was by myself a lot. I read a lot of books, about a lot of things, adventures, friendships, loyalty, betrayal and love. Too many on love, that's why I made the mistake I made years ago.

I was so caught up in myself and him to realize I didn't really love him, I thought I did and he told me all the right things. He listened to me and helped me, he cuddled with me when that's all I needed, and he kissed me when I wanted. He was perfect, until a day where I said no to something, he wanted to go farther than kissing, way farther, and I was sixteen, I wasn't ready for that. I always thought I'd wait till marriage, not just because its illegal but I also wanted to wait till I gave myself away completely, wait for the right one. He wasn't happy when I said no, but he hid it well. He made me feel guilty for not doing what he wanted but he hid it so I didn't think what he was doing wasn't okay. It wasn't until the day he told me we were going to his place, his place to watch a movie, his place to cuddle, his place to be stupid and have pillow flights, not their place.

Not the place they took me, all I wanted was to watch an old movie with the man I thought I loved. I was so oblivious as a sixteen-year-old, to the dangers of the world. I knew people killed, I knew people destroyed, but I never thought people would do it to me.

            I thought I was save, I thought I was protected and most of all, I thought I could trust him. I was so wrong, so very much wrong.

            Cals body pushed against mine pushing me against the wall, my thighs having to grip tighter to his waist, my lips pulling his lips closer to me when I pulled away for just a moment. "I'm not sure," I sighed honestly. He never let go of his grip on my thighs around his waist, he chuckled against my lips and I'm positive he could feel my smile too, and see my red cheeks.

            "I'm okay with whatever, but you need to know what you're doing, I don't want you to regret anything," he spoke against my neck. Could I not have met a man more perfect? Oh but of course there are like five other girls competing for him, way to go.

            "Just kiss me for now," I answered and didn't let a second go to waste. I'm never sure what Cal does but I feel different with him, I feel real. I'm not sure if I love him, wouldn't go that far, but I feel different, not how I felt with the man.

            "Cal," I said when he fell back on the bed, half of his body laying there my thighs next to his waist.

            "Yes Pumpkin?" He asked with a smile, his intoxicating smile that I could never get enough of. He moved his body up on the bed, his head laying down on one of the thousands of pillows, me still on his waist.

            "Thank you," I sighed laying my head against his chest listening to his heartbeat, his hand rubbed circles on my hip bones.

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i know this was short but that's because it was one chapter I split into two, there's more to this flashback don't worry, but in the next chapter.

See you next Friday!

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Update days: Friday

Have a lovely weekend

-Maddy