*cue in jazzy music*
*audience cheers as the Demi Gordan appears through the stage wall, dressed in a baby blue tuxedo with a Slytherin tie.*
"Thank you, thank you! And welcome to the Demi Gordan at Dusk Show!"
*audience cheers again, dying down as he takes a seat*
"Last time, we were joined by the charming Mr. Pigs, who plays Carson Dimes on the Crawling Ted. Always a delight to have such talented young people on my show. But, tonight, dear audience, we have an even better guest. She plays absolutely no one. She can't sing, dance, but she sure can roast your chicken ass. SHE IS THE ONE HUNDRED PERCENT MILK, THE REAL CAR DEAL, THE GREENBEAN MACHINE, QUEEEEEEEEEENNNNNN BAAAAAAARRRBBB!!!!"
*audience goes ballistic as the Queen is carried in on the shoulders of Generic Douchebag Name Here and Nancy in your Pantsy, flicking everyone off as greeting*
"Greetings, greetings!" Her angelic nerdy voice calls out.
"Oh, darling. Succchhhh a delight to have you on my show." Demi Gordon helps her off the idiot shoulders, kissing her hand when she's safe.
"Don't touch me, bitch" she calls as she sits down in the Host seat, and Gordon takes the guest seat.
"Yes ma'am"
After the audience settles down, he speaks again.
"So, Barb-"
"It's Britney bitch."
"-My apologies"
"I'm kidding you fucker. It's Queen Barb"
"Erm, yes. Recently you've been nominated for the Granny's, how does it feel? What do you think drove you on to receive that reward."
"My slaves drove me there, obviously. Isn't that right, Nancy you Slut."
"Yes, my queen." *someone in the crowd wolf whistles, and is immediately killed by the look Barb gives him. Because yes, her looks can kill. She's that fucking awesome.*
"Anyway, it felt wonderful. Not as great as looking into the mirror, but delightful, indeed."
"Understandable. You're freckles are like the stars above, the redness of your hair a burning passion!" Gordon chimes in with an all-too-happy tone.
"No shit, Sherlock." *the audience laughs*
"Right. Rumor has it you've been hanging out a lot with Kane East. Tell me, is it true?" *the crowd gasps dramatically with shock*
"You know. Ruling the world can get lonely sometimes." *Gordon dabs at his eyes, sniffling a little as he nods in agreement*
"So yes. He's a little shit, but he'll be king in 2020. Of course, I'll still make the rules."
"But of course!"
"Stop interrupting, you two headed Barney wall flower."
"Yessum"
"Now, I have a question for you..." *the audience sits in anticipation, her spectacles reflecting back to them their stupid expressions*
"Yes, my queen?"
"Why the fuck did you invite me here, peasant?"
....
*everone dies and Barb floats away, radiating a gold light as Nancy and Steve carry her away in a tent made of the clothes the took off during sex*
Still a better love story than Twilight. ⚫️〰⚫️
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Odder Thangs
DiversosBarb barb barb and barb Don't mind me (MADISON DILEO THIS IS FOR YOU) @madisondileo FOR THE NICKNAME OF LUCAS: I would not ever call anyone that 1)without consent and 2) without knowing how they feel about it. Why is he called that? In an interview...
