I remember falling in love for the first time. A dark chocolate girl that loved to dance. Beautiful to the eye and the heart. Spoiled even if she never admits it. I loved her more than I loved myself and I didn't know how to slow myself down. From infatuation to love and from love to hurt. Very quickly. In the blink of an eye. I learned from her though. I learned to not give so quickly. I gave everything thinking I would receive everything back. I received less than half. I wasn't understood and she was stubborn. I guess I should've made sure we were on the same page. When things ended I was in that weird empty place. Where you figure out how to be alone again. It was hard at first, but you get the hang of it. Remember that you had friends before her. One good thing that came from her was me writing. I wrote for days and stayed up long nights contemplating things. Played the "what if..." game for nights on end. Destructive mentally is what I became. Couldn't even think straight and I hated myself for it. Why was I so fucking in love? I still don't know. We barely had a real relationship. It was all fiction and I hate myself for falling for someone I didn't really know. Beautiful dark chocolate girl still floats through my subconscious sometimes. I see her in passing and hope I don't feel anything, but I don't think you ever really get over your first love.
