Somewhere down the line
I forgot how to breathe.
My joints still cracked with
Movement and my lips
Still chapped with winter;
But my lungs seized to
Function.
I was suddenly a newborn
Fawn, unable to balance
Out in the world,
Falling and stumbling
And the last time I fell,
I didn't even attempt to rise.
While lovers were warm
In each others embraces,
I was kept awake under
Mounds of blankets from
Reliving the past behind
Closed eyelids.
Everyone's voice was
Out of focus and
Some times I wondered if
Anyone was really speaking.
My days had been frosted over
Like car windows in the winter;
And my heater was broken.
Maybe one day I'll learn how
To fix this merry go round
And learn how to ride it
Without fear and sadness
And anxiety.
Maybe my lungs will
Grow cold, missing the
Oxygen that once filled them
And function again.
Maybe one day I'll rise from
The ground on my wobbly
Fawn legs and give myself
Another chance.
