fanboy ; rarl

119

trigger warning: addiction and sad thoughts!!!!

carl's pov

i sniffled as my finger traveled to my messages.

"he-e texted me back" i told my auntie.

her eyes shot up.

"do i-i reply?"

"you do what your heart tells you. remember theres always a block button incase things get bad." she said.

i clicked on the app.

ron- carl grimes. i know you hate me. how could you not? im not expecting you to reply to this because im a total jerk. im going to be 100% honest with you right now. ive been struggling with alcohol, you were my only medicene to stop my addiction and i was an idiot and pushed you away. and its not just because you helped me, you showed me what falling for a beautiful boy like you was. and i screwed up and i know my actions are not an excuse for being a terrible person to you. youre perfect, love. and i love you so much and im the biggest idiot on the planet to ever put you in pain, especially due to how bad your circumstances are right now. i am so sorry, carl. i dont know if you want to, i doubt it, but i just want to talk one last time? i am again sorry and i hate myself for this. i love you. i hope we can talk soon, cutie carl.

after reading the message, i was balling my eyes out again, which resulted in my aunt also ordering my favorite take out food and talked about having a bonfire to burn my copy of "paper towns" which sounded good, but i told her i cant.

i couldnt even put into words on how much i wanted to reply to him. unfortunately i cant. i just... i cant.