Chapter 1
The Man Who Mooned the World
by Rabbi Steven LebowIrving Vesper was the greatest rocket salesman who ever lived. He was also the greatest man I ever knew.
Vesper wasn't just the most successful person who ever sold used rockets. He was a genius when it came to advertising.
Once Vesper had determined to sell something, he never let his dreams be moored, immutably, to the earth. Irv Vesper always gazed beyond the horizon. Up past the rising moon.
And even then, just a little beyond.
"Irv, you're not just a good salesman, you're a great salesman," said Bernie Kahn to Vesper when came looking to get his old job back as a salesman at "Colonial Rockets" in Old Miami.
Vesper, the washed up salesman, looked down and held his space cowl in his hands.
"Bernie," said Vesper. "I know you're still mad at me for what I did to you as fraternity pledge master at Miami Aeronautical University."
"But that was twenty years ago," said Vesper. "Can't we get beyond that?"
"You don't remember what you did to me when we were members of Tau Epislon Phi, the Ethnic Jewish Flight Fraternity?"
"I treated you like crap." said Vesper to Kahn.
"I dumped you out of a low flying rocket, naked, into the Everglades, during Pledge Week," said Vesper.
"Bernie, I'm sorry for how I treated you, but we were twenty years old. That's how young pilots treat each other!"
"So what brings you into Colonial Used Rockets this morning?" said Kahn.
"I got a cease and desist e-mail from International Gyro-Bakers this morning, " said Vesper. "They're closing all of their dealerships. As of this morning I no longer own 'Lauderdale Gyro-Baker Rockets'." said Vesper.
"Sorry to hear that," said Kahn, who had known all along that Vesper's rocket dealership had closed two hours before.
"Let me talk to my partner, Alvin Solomon, to see if have an entry level position for you. Maybe we can find an entry-level position for you. Maybe we can use you on the used rocket lot," said Kahn.
"Thanks, Bernie," said Vesper.
When he left Kahn's office with his head down, he looked like the expensive Weimaranar puppy that he had just bought for his children the day before he lost his job.
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The Man Who "Mooned" The World!
Fiksi IlmiahAnother Irving "Doc" Vesper story about advertising "Used Rockets" on his Rocket Lot.