Narcotic Affair {PHAN}

"Only fools fall for you"

(Phil's pov)
Our gazes had locked and I felt my breath hitch inside my throat. I felt my whole world spin around but I saw the confusion in his sweet eyes. I know Dan could never love me but there's no shame in trying to get some affection.

Dan rapidly turned around and said,"So u-umm Phil I've been meaning to ask if you'll help me out with a something special that I have planned."

I nodded slowly confused as to what he wanted.

Dan blushed all shades of pink and said,"Well you see I've been meaning to ask Cat out and I want you to help me plan out a perfect date so she won't be able to say no."

Right as those words left his mouth I felt my heart drop and shatter into a million pieces. I chocked back a sob and looked at Dan as i forced a smile and said,"O-of course I'll help you Dan, I would do anything for you."

Dan's face brightened up and he was completely unaware of my true emotions and he hugged me tightly and shouted,"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUUU!!!"

I let a small tear fall down my cheek and onto his shoulder as he held me in his embrace as I realized that this was the beginning of my end. Dan let go of me and he excitedly ran to his room as he said he was to upload a new video since he hadn't uploaded in 2 months yikes!

I slumped towards my room and when I reached my bed I let myself fall. I felt all my strength leave my body as I couldn't contain this anymore. The water works began and I sobbed until my eyes were more red than ocean blue as Dan would describe them. I cried until my pillows could absorb no more tears and I cried until I felt empty. I deserved to feel empty. I deserved to feel unloved because I'm no Dan. I'm not as amazing,beautiful,or just nearly as talented. I am just Phil.

My eyes scanned the room wearily and I couldn't find a reason to smile, all I wanted was for Dan to love me as much as I love him. Is that too much to ask for? Am I not good enough for him? Why must love work in such a mysterious way that we must hurt? I knew no answers to these questions that ran in my head as I slowly and surely sobbed myself a while longer until my eye lids felt droopy and I fell down a dark nightmare that I would never awake from.

(AUTHOR'S NOTE:Sorry for the super duper long wait for this chapter I just honestly didn't feel like writing and school was killing me but now I'm back for good)