What We Create

Chapter 9, 10 & 11

    

Chapter 9

Brian

I paced near my car in the parking lot. I couldn't stand to sit in the waiting room while Tracey was examined at Planned Parenthood. As the only guy there, all eyes rested on me. A cloud of blame surrounded me.

The fact I did feel guilty didn't help. I prayed, please let her be okay, in my head over, and over again. My head felt hot, like I a meltdown. Thirty minutes ticked by since the nurse had taken her for an examination.

I strode back into the clinic, and handed the receptionist my driver's license. The receptionist sat in what looked to be a bulletproof glass and metal enclosure. The whole setup surreal. It made me think I needed to wear my sports cup, and protect my boys. This place scared me.

I sat near the door where Tracey would come back out. A middle aged woman sat about ten feet from me, and every time I looked up, she gave me the stink eye. I wanted to tell her to fuck off in the worst way. I ran my hand through my hair for the tenth time, and stared unseeingly at my phone. The door opened, and finally Tracey appeared. I stood, and went over to her.

"Are you okay? What did they say?" I put my arm around her, and started for the door.

"Let's get out of here, and then we can talk."

I settled Tracey in the car, shut her door, and got in on the driver's side. I turned toward her, and waited for her to speak.

"They said I miscarried. They don't know why, but usually there is something wrong with the baby if you miscarry in the first trimester." Tracey's bottom lip trembled.

"I'm sorry, honey." I put my arms around her, and pulled her close.

"I know now isn't a good time to have a baby, but it still makes me sad. It's our baby," she sobbed. She looked up at me with her big green eyes, and tears on her eyelashes. I would do anything to make this right.

It felt like a knife plunged into my heart. "It makes me sad, too. We will have a baby someday. I promise you."

"Don't say that. We don't know where our lives will go. You're going to college. I'm going to college."

"I do know that we will be together. No matter what happens, you are it for me. Nothing will change how I feel about you. Don't you feel it?" My eyes searched hers. She was my answer; every time our eyes met. From the moment we met, I knew. A deep peace settled in my heart. Undeniable, I didn't care I was only seventeen. I would have known at twelve.

"I do. It's kind of scary. I didn't want to feel like it's forever with someone now. I always thought it would come later, but here you are, my handsome guy."

She put her hand on my cheek and kissed me. She wiped the tears from my face. I didn't realize I had been crying. I hugged her close to me, and we sat there in silence for a few minutes.