What We Create

Chapter 16, 17 & 18

Chapter 16

Jessie

My phone dinged. "Are u mad at me?" I read the text from Alex and frowned. Why would I be mad at him.

"No, Y would I be mad?"

"Because Mandy hugged me."

When did Mandy hug him? I didn't see Mandy hug him. "When?"

"?????? Right after the assembly."

I thought back to the assembly. I remembered singing, but I couldn't recall the end of the assembly. Why was I in Brian's car today? I always take the bus with Rebecca. I didn't remember going to Brian's car either.

"Right. No, I'm not mad." My mouth went dry as I typed the words. I didn't remember one bit of this. There was something seriously wrong in my head.

Alex and I exchanged a few more messages about when we would see each other.

"Going to nap. Big headache."

"K, feel better. Txt me when you get up."

"Will do," and I added a kissy smiley face. My head throbbed as I laid down on my pillow. Overwhelmed, I didn't want to think about what happened. I welcomed the numbness of sleep.

Christmas Eve arrived faster than I imagined. It was full dark as we pulled into the church parking lot. I loved Christmas Eve services with the white lights strung on the trees surrounding the church. How the lights glowed and broke-up the dark. The clear sky showcased the bright stars.

As I looked up at the stars, I inhaled the cold air. The night air seemed pure and magical. I sensed unity in the stars, something that joined us all together. I wasn't always sure about what was taught in church, but this feeling, I believed. The wholeness, the wonder and love of something much greater than me. We were all a part of a larger whole, all linked together. I was sure of .

I sighed and watched my breath disappear in the cold air. Brian and the rest of the family entered the church while I hung back and stared at the sky. I pulled my coat tighter around me and went into church.

At the door, a greeter handed me a candle with a cardboard circle around it. The dimmed lights, decorations and hushed atmosphere transformed the sanctuary. I could smell the pine wreaths mingled with melted candle wax. Silver and gold decorations twinkled in the glow from the candles. Brian caught my attention with a small wave. I sat in between him and Mom.

Reverend White greeted the congregation, and then asked us to take out our hymnals and turn to page 265 to sing the Hallelujah Chorus. As we began to sing, I noticed Mom's off key voice. I shook my head and smiled. I could match tone by ear, but Mom couldn't, and she didn't read music. I looked around at our fellow parishioners to see if anyone else noticed.

I elbowed Brian, and he looked at me. I flicked my eyes toward Mom. He tilted his head to listen. As he listened, he rolled his eyes and shook his head. We spontaneously started to sing off key as well. I increased my volume and we moved our heads side to side like we were really into singing the hymn.

Mom looked at us, frowned and then understanding dawned on her face.

"Oh hush, you two are terrible," she whispered to me and Brian while making a shooing gesture with her hand.

Brian and I shook with silent laughter. At least Mom had a sense of humor. A little entertainment made the service shorter. I listened to the first five minutes of the sermon and then my mind started to wander. Brian's elbow brought me back to reality. He held out his lit candle to light mine. I lit Mom's. The candles lit the sanctuary and provided the only source of light. Candlelight projected a halo around everyone. I wanted to freeze the moment and the peacefulness.