Mending Broken Wings

Revelation

I don't know what to say. I mean what do I say? I fucked up. Like royally.  It's been three months since I moved out of Bryces and back to Phillips penthouse. I tried reconciliation. I just couldnt. There are some things you can never get over no matter how hard you try. I couldn't get over what Bryce had done to me. He didn't give up. He tried his damnedest for weeks. It just wasn't going to happen. He finally gave up and focused on his relationship with Blaise.   We have been working on Co parenting and are rocking at it. We get along extremely well and are actually better than we ever were when we were married. I wasn't pregnant thank god.
The night after me and Bryce declared a truce and agreed that a divorce was a much better option for us I had went home to the penthouse and tried to drink my sorrows away. After a few shots and some wine later Phillip called. Him and Shell had gotten into a huge  fight. She'd kicked him out and called off the wedding. He'd never told me why. That night we'd both drowned our sorrows into a bottle. Ok, a few bottles. We ended up making a huge mistake.
"It was a mistake Phillip. Can't we just go on. People do it all the time"
"No. I've tried. I can't stop thinking about that night. I dream about it. I wake up in the middle of the  night. Then you wear those cute little sweats    give me those damn come fuck me eyes and it takes everything I have not to slam you against the wall and have my way with you. "
"Stop saying shit like that Phillip you can't say that to me. Your just hurt over Shell. I can't fill that void. I'm your best friend." I say angrily getting off the couch to walk away.
Grabbing my arm and yanking me back "Stop hiding from me Tay. It's you and me. I'm not going anywhere. No matter what. Your an Idiot If you think this has anything to do with me and Shell. We both called the wedding off that night. Shell had heard me say your name one to many times in my sleep. She said she was living in your shadow. She gave me an ultimatum. I had to ditch you. You couldn't be in my life anymore. And you know what? I couldn't imagine my life without you and blaise. But I could without her. That's when I knew  I can't live without you. I told her that. She couldn't stay knowing that she would never be my number one. You'll always be my number one Tay. And no matter how much I've tried to change that. I cant. So no matter what happens or what you say right now, It won't come between us."
Almost Choking on the words as tears were streaming down my face I whisper " I can't lose you. I can't. You and Blaise are everything to me." And I couldn't. Everyone leaves. My mom. Bryce. Phillip and Blaise are everything I have. There's always been chemistry between Phillip and I. He's been my rock. My everything.
Pulling me into his chest, he cradles my face kissing my head whispering " You will never lose me. But I need to know Tay. I need to know where we stand. I can't stand the not knowing part. You know I love you. There's no way you couldn't. I've loved you since the day you met Bryce. But you completely had me the day you had Blaise. You see you'll never have to worry about losing me. You hold all the power. I didn't think you'd ever get over Bryce so I settled with being your best friend. I met Shell and yes I loved her, as long as you are in my life I could of married her. I'll take you anyway I can have you Tay. I'm selfish. The night we made love, I'd never felt anything like that in my entire life. I know deep down in my soul baby that you are my forever. I just need to know in what way."

"I'm scared Phillip. You are my everything.  I think that's why I couldn't make it work with Bryce." I whisper
"Say what I need to hear baby" he groans and pushes my back against the wall.
"I love you" I breath out.
"Oh God, you have no idea how long I've waited to hear those words."