Noelle

Chapter 12

I feel cold.

My back is pressed against the kitchen chair, my breakfast sitting forgotten in front of me as I stare ahead at the wall.

It's been three days since the night I went with Fen to the bar. Three days since Aeron ripped the feeling of safety from my chest and tore it to shreds outside of my apartment door.

I took the weekend off from work because I didn't feel like I could handle seeing anyone. West has texted me a few times and I've barely found the motivation to respond. I don't know how to move forward without telling someone, but some part of me knows what West will do if he finds out. And part of me worries he'll think it was my fault.

The smell of cold eggs hits me and I glance down at my plate in disgust, finally pushing it away.

It takes a lot for me to change out of the clothes I've been wearing for days now, but I finally manage to slip a clean shirt over my head. I toss the old one onto the floor by my bed and grab my keys. It's time to face the outside world again, because Marta asked me to come by to pick up a few things.

The diner is mostly empty when I step inside, tiredly pushing my windswept hair back from my face. At the sound of the bell, Marta comes running around the corner. The weariness hanging over me must be obvious, because the grin vanishes from her face when she sees me and is quickly replaced with worry. She sets down the box in her arms and approaches me with caution, like I'm an injured animal she's afraid she'll scare off.

"Noelle?" Her voice is soft, gentle. And it's enough to send me over the edge. I begin to cry, lifting my hands to cover my face in embarrassment and grief. Arms wrap around my body and she tugs me down the short hallway and into the privacy of her office.

She holds me patiently until I find some composure and I pull back to meet her gaze with teary eyes. She reaches down to grab my hands. "Honey, what happened?"

And so I tell her everything. About my feelings for West, my first time at the bar with Aeron, and the last one. The way people had warned me about him, and the way he followed me home. I can tell she's trying to look calm for my sake, but I feel the anger radiating off of her the more I say.

At the end, she squeezes my hands and stands up from the edge of the desk where she'd been resting. She's silent for a moment, but doesn't let go. She takes a deep breath.

"Noelle, I am so, so, sorry. You have to tell West. You just have to. He would want to know." She watches my face scrunch up in anxiety. "I know honey, I know. He'll be angry, but not at you. You did nothing wrong."

I stare down at my feet. "I can't. I feel like this is my fault."

She vehemently shakes her head. "No. This is not your fault. I've known Aeron for a long time, Noelle. I've watched him go down this path. I've prayed he wouldn't."

I'm silent, and she allows me to sit in it for a moment before squeezing my hands. "He can't go on acting like this never happened. That isn't fair." At my nod, she continues. "How about I call West. I don't want you to deal with this alone."

I nod again and she disappears from the room. I pull my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around my legs and sinking my face into the dark, empty space between as if to hide myself from everything.

I'm not sure how much time passes, but eventually I hear the bell above the door. Somehow I know it's West. Low voices talk outside of the room I'm hiding in and then he cautiously steps inside, looking me over before meeting my half closed eyes. I can see the concern. I can absolutely see the anger.

He approaches me slowly, crouching down in front of me. Gentle hands nudge my head up to face him. His eyes are soft. "God, I'm sorry. Marta told me what happened. This was not your fault so you can get that thought out of your head. We talked about this, remember?"