Caminah Smuts

Gonna Get Better

"Don't you dare fucking walk out that door Dinah," Camila slammed the TV remote on the ground, tears already streaming down her face.

But the brown eyed woman's hand was already twisting the knob, looking back over her shoulder, she shot her wife a teary glare. "You don't get to tell me what the fuck to do." She spat back at her wife.

"If you leave this room," Camila wiped the tears from her face before standing tall. Staring challengingly into those familiar brown eyes that were full of rage, and, hurt? "If you leave this room... I'm leaving you." It took Camila a second to actually realize what was said. She had just put 10 years of memories on the table for Dinah to decide what to do with, and she wasn't sure whether or not that was the best idea.

Because the truth is, Camila loved Dinah. Will all of her fucking heart. Every fiber in Camila's body screamed for that woman. But she wasn't exactly sure if Dinah still loved her the same way she did once, and Camila wasn't ready to give Dinah up. Despite what she said as a threat.

Camila looked down at her ring, twirling it around her finger before taking it off. Sniffing as she brought it to her face to look at the engraved name on it. Chuckling defeatedly, she held it out. "This is what's at stake here, Dinah. You—me—us?"

Dinah's eyes fell to the ring that she remembered going out and buying, she had told the man to engrave her name on the inside, so that Camila would have her with her at all times. And had Camila's name engraved in her own for the same purpose. The brown eyed girl looked down at her own hand the ring was on. The same hand holding on to the door...

Slamming it shut, Dinah ran up to Camila, cupping her face to pull her in for a searing kiss.

Camila resisted it at first, but sunk in to it when Dinah refused to let her go.

Tears streamed down Camila's face while her hands gripping Dinah's shoulders for support, afraid she'd fall from the intensity of the kiss. It lasted a few more seconds until Dinah loosened her grip, and Camila shoved her away, wiping her lips. "You can't do that!" Camila shouted. "You can't just kiss me and expect everything to be okay." The woman was sobbing, her hand going up in to her hair to brush the wild hairs out of her face. "We aren't the same, Dinah." Camila looked down at the ground, whispering softly, "we haven't been the same for 5 years." Sighing, Camila walked back in to the living room, disappearing from Dinah's sight.

Dinah stood in the kitchen, still processing Camila's words. She knew things weren't the same anymore, she knew stuff had been different for a while. But she had never thought it'd come to this, this wasn't their same house of happiness. Oh no, it was nowhere near that... And now, they both knew it.

Dinah made her way into the living room to see Camila near the balcony window, a cigarette dangling from her chapped lips while she fumbled with the lighter. Camila looked at Dinah when she appeared beside her, taking the lighter from her hands and bringing it up to the tip of the cigarette and lighting it. "You don't smoke, Camila." Dinah brought her hand down and Camila scoffed.

"I could start." The older woman pulled in a tight breath of air of the toxic smoke, coughing as soon as the heaviness of the smoke invaded her mouth.

Dinah chuckled sadly, taking the cigarette between both fingers and removing it from in between Camila's parted lips, before putting it in between her own and drawing in a breath. Camila didn't protest...she never was the kind of person to smoke.

Camila slid down the glass of the window, Dinah following down with her. "What are we doing?" Camila asked, her hands coming up to rub at the dried tears.

The brown eyed girl waited a moment before replying, sucking in another breath from the cigarette, holding it until blowing it out her nose. "Disagreeing." She said simply.