Caminah Smuts

Still Among These Cold Nights

The weight of exhaustion made Camila stagger into the apartment that her roommate once owned. Shared with her ex-girlfriend, it was like the beginning of term all over again. Except, at least this time, the space wasn't as cramped as their dorm room and Camila was more aware of her ex-girlfriend's presence than she was all those months ago. Aware of the mess she left all over the room. Clumps of her hair, balled up like a cat's, made its way to Camila's side of the apartment. Tumblers with the bottoms crusted with old coffee littered the floor. It was disgusting. Camila was at her wit's end.

Still, she took a shaky breath to focus on the task at hand. Reports to read regarding the board budgets, charters, all the boring things that came with research made her vision blurry. Camila reached for her mug but it was empty.

The view outside the window was of an old California city. The picturesque buildings and its gothic spires looked less threatening at night. With the moon hidden behind clouds and the towers, it cloaked the quad in inky darkness, hiding the cratered earth and the pissed off angler fish-god. Camila closed her fist, rested her chin against it, and renewed her promise to herself. This was a beautiful school, demonic staff and evil governing body aside. Camila chose it for a reason, and she would protect no matter the cost.

A yawn tore through her mouth and she dropped her forehead against her desk. Words danced in her vision. She murmured memorized lines of corporate by-laws. That's when she realized that it was truly time for bed.

She rose to her feet, stretched her back, and padded into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. Passing by the partition of the rooms, Dinah's side looked trashed as always, and empty. She was partying it up with Lauren again, no doubt. The thought wrinkled Camila's nose. She turned her back towards that side of the apartment and entered the bedroom.

The memories of their first few weeks locked in the bedroom never failed to infiltrate Camila's mind, no matter how hard she tried to block it all out. There was no use reminiscing. After all, their breakup was for the best. There was a school to protect, a student body to save, and if Dinah didn't want to help her, then... Camila would do it all herself with a lot of help from her friends.

Camila changed into a baggy sleep shirt and curled under the silk covers. She closed her eyes, willed for sleep to come. It should come; her limbs were sore, she had a tension in her neck, and her eyelids were heavy. Yet sleep eluded her.

"Argh!" Camila tossed and turned. Buried her face in the sweet-smelling pillowcase. Squeezed her eyes shut and counted sheep jumping over a white picket fence. Nothing worked.

Camila engrossed herself in her desire to sleep that she didn't hear the soft footsteps, the heavy apartment door opening and closing. With her eyes closed, Camila didn't see the crack of light, the curtain to the bedroom parting for two seconds before closing again.

"You're still up," Dinah's voice was soft and warm and tinged with the sweetbitter flashback of her breath against Camila's ear. The brown eyed girl burrowed into a pillow and ignored the echoes of missing Dinah ringing inside her chest. Her breathing was shallow and she cleared her throat to hide it.

"Really," Camila deadpanned. "I didn't think I was so transparent. Go away."

No sound of receding footsteps. Camila lifted her head from the pillow cave she made and there was Dinah, standing by the foot of her bed. She looked at her. Those eyes she once stared into, filled with love and affection and warmth, met hers. In those depths, Camila remembered what it was like to lose herself in Dinah.

Without saying another word, Dinah kicked off her leather boots and shrugged off her jacket. She crawled into bed beside Camila.

"What are you doing?" Camila demanded.