updates about me

i am miserable

I miss Shanice so much she made me laugh she made me smile she made me happy I still lover her and I always will I fight back tears seemingly 24/7. I feel all the happiness has left my soul. Ive been told I haven't genuinely smiled since before we broke up I'd agree Is force my smiles and still do to hide my pain if not for Michelle I'd never leave my bed I refuse to eat from lack of appetite. I cry myself to sleep from misery. I get taunted by all my "friends" irl I'm getting to the point where this misery is too much to bear I'm so miserable now that my anesthetics stopped working at making me loopy. I'm not sure what to do I just wanna end it. End my misery and pain. I know I could if I wanted but something is stopping and I don't know what it is but it's making me live my torture any way I just want my pain and misery to end. I cant take it any more! Please someone put me out if my misery end my torment I beg you!!