white noise || malum

prologue.

As the small rain droplets collided with the ground, and the cold air caused him to shiver, Michael pulled his jacket tighter around himself. It was a movie-worthy cliche rainy day, complete with the gray clouds, slight rain, and family gathered around, all solemn and mourning. Michael looked to his side to glance at his friend Luke.

His blonde curls stuck to his face from the wetness, and his blue eyes looked dull. Michael wasn't sure if it was a raindrop sliding down his cheek or a single tear. He watched as Luke looked down to his hands, where he clutched a black bracelet so hard in his fingers his knuckles turned white. Luke squeezed his eyes shut and pursed his lips together and Michael knew he was on the verge of tears yet again.

Michael turned his head back to the ground where his face remained stone cold.

He's gone.

"Mike-" he heard an all too familiar voice choke out through sobs. "Luke, please, I-"

Michael's sad expression turned to a glare, his gaze still on the ground. "Shut up, Calum."

Calum, who wasn't keeping it together as well as Michael and Luke - on the outside at least - reached out to touch Michael's shoulder, his lip quivering through his words. "I'm so sorry, please just listen to-"

"I said shut up!" Michael snapped, jerking away from Calum's touch and moving away from the dark haired boy. Luke looked up at his friend alarmed, his eyes puffy and red from silently crying.

"Michael..." Calum mumbled as Michael took Luke by the arm to lead him away.

Michael scowled to himself as Luke glanced back at his friend, not saying a word. Michael knew what he was thinking. He had been too hard on Calum.

Michael had known Calum and Luke for years. They had been friends since Year 6, and since then inseparable. But it was never just the trio. They had Ashton, too. Ashton was their fourth musketeer. Ashton was the one who tied them all together. If it weren't for him, none of them would have become so close. Ashton was the reason Michael knew Calum, and now? Ashton was gone.

And Calum was the very reason for Ashton being gone. It was because of Calum's stupid idea, Calum's stupid mistake, Calum's stupid stubbornness, stupid Calum.

Michael knew Calum wasn't stupid. Michael knew Calum was an amazing person that would do anything for him or Luke or Ashton. But Michael was so full of anger, so full of grief that in this moment just simply hearing the boy's voice made him burst.

Michael heard his mum walk over to him, and she ran a hand through his blonde hair as she pulled him into a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry, Michael." she whispered, the pain present in her voice as well. "Are you ready to go home?" she looked down at him frowning sadly. "You need some rest." Michael nodded slowly before giving a small nod to Luke, who returned the gesture with a small smile that only showed on his lips and not in his eyes before making his way over to his family.

Neither of them heard Calum call their names again through his sobs as he dropped to his knees, covering his face with his hands. I'm so fucking sorry, Ash, I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry, it should have been me. I'm never going to forgive myself.

It should have been me.