Lost November

The Cost Of Living With a Boy

       What screws us up in life is what we think it's supposed to be like, new school, new rules. But there was nothing like that here, just a bunch of normal girls and a crazy exes. Ones that liked to destroy the dorms of their ex heartthrobs and write mean words on doors.
Sometimes girls need to learn a new way to think about stuff before they do it, like liquid coffee creamer doesn't come out of a couch or that schools for delinquent have cameras everywhere.

It wasn't long before Ivan, Blake, and I had the dorm spotless after Ivan took some photos and emailed them to the principal and asked for the tapes to be reviewed.
"So Jackie is something else." I groaned, watching Blake and Ivan move in a new black leather couch where the old one used to sit.

     "Yeah she is, and she can go fuck herself." Blake groaned, setting the couch down, then running his fingers through his hair.
    I laughed, running my fingers through my hair and sat down on the kitchen chair. I flipped through the only book I brought here, which was in my room luckily, and realized it was just some thing on how to survive in the woods for more than six months. I was just getting bored when my phone started ringing in my back pocket.

   I looked at the screen to see the picture of my dad on the screen, and I let it ring. Blake and Ivan www staring at me, and I only shrugged. "I don't need to talk to him."

"You need to talk to him. He's probably just checking up on you." Ivan said, looking at me like a parent would.

"How about a bitch no." I snapped, closing the book and staring up at both of them with cold eyes.
They both shook their heads, and started putting the groceries up. They acted like it wasn't a choice when it came to answering the calls of my father, but it really was an option or there wouldn't be an ignore button put on phones. It was rare for me to answer his phone calls anyway, so nothing has really changed.
  I looked in the hallway mirror, which had been wiped clean of mayo, and saw myself. I looked happier. I was actually telling jokes, smiling more, having a great time and....still dying inside. The hurt in my heart was still lingering there. The bags under my eyes were still there under my foundation. I was tired of all the drama of my old life, tired of not being good enough for my father, and tired of life as it was. I didn't look dramatic, weak or attention seeking. I always kept it inside. So I was prefect on the outside, but I cried at night. So everyone always thought I was the happiest person they knew, with an attitude of course. That I had no problems in my life at all. If only they knew the truth.
  "You okay?" Blake asked, handing me one of the puffy cat candies I picked out. " You don't seem like it."
  "I'm fine, seriously. Just thinking about how tired I am." I laughed, biting into the marshmallow.
"Alright, get some sleep then." He said, walking towards Ivan. His stride calm and collected like mine used to be before my mother died.
    I got up and walked towards my room, pushing open the door after I unlocked it and I stared at my untouched room. The photo of my mother on my nightstand.
"Hey mom, I'm back." I said quietly, shutting the door. "I can't believe someone actually did this to my dorm."
    I fell down onto my bed, kicking my shoes off and taking my pants off. I pulled my shirt off, and crawled under the covers. The moment I shut my eyes I was gone.
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   My alarm went off blaring, just as I rolled over to turn it off, my door came open and Blake stood there for a second before he screamed "sorry" and shut the door quickly. I looked down for see that my smiley face bra was showing. I jerked the covers up, my face red. He just saw me in a my bra.

   "Don't come in next time!" I yelled back, getting up and grabbing a red-blue long-sleeve flannel shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. I moved in front of the mirror to see that my hair was in cute beach waves and decided to leave it.