Synthetic

Prologue

          A small droplet of water slipped over the edge of my eyelash and sliced through the air before crashing to the ground. How? How could I have not known? In my own consciousness- if such was true to me- how could I never realize what I was? What I am.
          Another drop from the other eye slips from my lashes to my skin and rolls down my face. Another. Then many. I couldn't feel it. Then again, how did I feel anything?
          Too many tears. Some were mine. Others came from the sky. Rain ran down my cheek fighting for space with my tears. Tears from my heart tear at my mind.
          Thoughts bounced around my mind. Spinning back and forth. It must have been a lie. How? How could I fall this way? How could I fall? My face slid up to face her. Her. I shook my head.

With a stutter, I choked out, "N-No."

She looked at me worried. "What do you mean, 'No'? Yes. There's no way to change that or else I would have."

I shook my head again. "I told you they were crazy! I told you. I told you about me, I told you about them, and I told you about yourself."

"But that doesn't change the facts. They are them and I am me. They may be crazy. They may be insane, but then, what am I?" She looked down. "I would change it if I could. I really would.

"Then do it. Fix it. You always fixed it."

"That's what I'm doing." She gestured to the large wooden doors behind her.

I begin to shake in panic and think to myself, "No. No, no, no. It's impossible."

"I hope you know I heard that."

I rub my head. "Of course you did."

"You haven't completely processed this, have you?" She tilted her head as she spoke.

          No. No I hadn't.
          Then my thoughts turned to her. The one in front of me, and the one in front of the doors.
          She would be questioned, and she would be drained. They had control.

"I did this. Would you have lived without me?" I asked, choking.

She turned away from me. "I was always gone. I can't... I can't live my life without knowing if it's any different the other way."

          Then, she turned, and pulled open the door to our separation. One I refused to accept.