Bounded

Chapter 12

I was still thinking about what to do next. I was still alone. On the spurr of the moment, I felt like running after Clint and telling him the truth, but I knew it wasn't possible. It was too late, I had already put down the first brick of the never stopping wall of lies.
"Corridor 24Q, Cell 57V." To know what it led to, I had to go look in the prison records.
I sighed deeply; the prison records were in Fury's office.
"Maybe I should just go back to Loki's cell and ask him what it was. After all, he was the one who gave me those numbers."
No. I couldn't do that either. It would be too suspicious and I had just got myself out of this mess, and I saw where talking with the god of mischief had gotten me to.
There was only one solution: break into the head of S.H.I.E.L.D's office.
"You're crazy!" I thought, "It's impossible! Way too risky!"
I stayed seated on the couch for several minutes, thinking about what my next move would be.
Staying here wouldn't help anyone, so the least I could do was to get up and to start going to Fury's office to see if I could possibly infiltrate it.
I crossed the Helicarrier's central room, staying carefully out of sight from agent Hill, as I didn't feel like encountering her again for the time being.
I had to be the most discreet possible.
I finally arrived infront of the corridor where the most important parts of the world were discussed through in one of the many rooms, in which, I thought, was Fury's.
I approached the dark windowed room when I heard voices.
I quickly crouched on the floor, my back to the wall. They were coming from Fury's office.
I held my breath as I realized who the voices were from: Fury and Clint.
As I heard the pronoun "she", I held my breath and pressed my ear against the door.
Luckily, it was a crack open, so I quickly picked up with their conversation.
"I'm worried about her, she's been acting strangely these last days..."
"I understand that you're worried Clint, but I still think it's only temporary, she's finally asking herself questions. You should just leave her time to think things through."
"She lied to me Fury!"
I could here Clint's desperate tone, and his words stabbed me in the stomach; he knew I had been lying to him. All this time. How stupid I felt.
"She never lied before...the only time was when she was younger, but it was for play, she knew I knew she was lying and we would laugh about it... But today she was trying to fool  me, she wanted to hide something. She was serious. We were serious. Something's happening. Please, Fury, I believe it's because of Loki. You know how he can control someone. We have to be careful! I feel like this is going to end badly..."
I could feel my eyes prickling, and tried to fight off the tear that was dangerously menacing to fall from the corner of my eye. I realized I was scared, that I was starting to feel insecure and that I was starting to feel like a stranger in my own home.
"We both knew the dangers for bringing him in here, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. We also knew that she couldn't just stay here for her entire life. She's somehow linked to the other Realms, and we both know that Earth is not the best place for her."
"I was starting to think that she was going to stay with us. How stupid of me. You know what she means to me."
"Yes, that is why the best we can do is talk to her about the whole matter before it gets out of hand and that Loki makes a move first...That is...If it isn't too late."
That's when I heard another voice, shocked to find out a third person had been there the whole time.
"But won't she be a threat to our organization? She's been working for us for a long time. Isn't it best if she just...ah, how to put it...disappeared?"
Natasha. What was she talking about? A threat to the organization? Me? With shock, I waited for an answer from both men.
"Nat! What do you mean? How could you say such a thing? Fury, tell her!"
"Mr Barton, please calm down."
He isn't denying the idea. He isn't saying no. How could this have happened? I heard Loki's words echoing in my mind: "The people of S.H.I.E.L.D are only using you! After this mission you did, they'll probably send you off somewhere to get killed, so you won't be in the way anymore! You've learned to much and now you're dangerous! Do not trust them."
The tear silently slid down my cheek, dripping soundlessly on my black trousers.
"Hawkeye. Do not forget where you loyalty lies."
Clint answered to Natasha with a stoned voice: "Yes."
I wanted to scream, to get out the bitter taste of anger I was feeling in my throat. I felt betrayed. I was betrayed.
I didn't wait for them to finish their discussion, how could I have just stayed here and listen. I got up and ran as fast I could up the corridor, avoiding near by guards, and rushed to my room. The searching would have to wait. I didn't care anymore. I still couldn't believe my own people would put my life in danger. But were they really my people?
I couldn't think properly, I felt like the walls of the Hellicarier were closing in on me.
I had to get out of here. Just to think about the whole matter, to have some calm and to not feel opressed. New York city was my best choice, I was going to get out of this vehicule and find refuge in this big city, even if it were for several hours. It wasn't even noon yet, I had all the time I wanted.
I changed out of my usual S.H.I.E.L.D uniform and got out a pair of grey jeans and a night blue t-shirt. It was my favorite, with my back shown from the triangular cut with veils falling over it. I felt good again, feeling a little more normal.
Carefully, I headed to the boat docks, near the end of the helicarrier's last floor and stopped as I saw the usual soldiers.
They looked in my direction suspiciouslly, and I gathered up my strength and walked decisively towards one of the nice looking little motor boats.
"Identify yourself." One of the agents asked.
I got out my badge and showed it to them. "Agent 096, Lythia Niflei" I answered with a wide smile.
They looked at the picture and then at me. "Have you got the authorisation key?"  He asked.
"Ah...do you mean the boat key? 'Cause I have it right here!"
I searched in my pocket and got out a shining silver key. They took it, and after a while, as if deciding if I was someone safe, they let me pass.
I smiled, mischievousness surging through me. I was releaved the word about me still hadn't gone out, and I was glad I had safely stolen the boat key from the board in the beginning.
"Looks like Fury might want to check his security systems again!" I cheered mockingly as I got in the little boat.
I put down the little bag I had taken with me, which had only what was necessary for my short absence: my phone and money.
I quickly slid the key in the driving board, and reved up the engine. "Good thing I know how to move this thing!" I thought to myself.
In no time, the boat was safely on the sea, rushing towards the big buildings towering in the distance.
I could feel the wind whirling my hair around, as several drops of water came brushing against my face, and a wonderful sensation overcame me: for the first time in a long time; I felt free.