The Winter's Servant {Stucky AU} COMPLETED

~Chapter Seventeen~

                                James pulled Steven even tighter into his masculine arms and held him for what seemed like eternity.  It was one of the rare blissful moments where it seemed there was not another living soul in the world except for him and his beautiful,  sweet Steven. 

Steven squirmed on his lap as he reached up to give him a small kiss on the cheek.  James grinned.  He loved Steven's kisses.  They were so soft and angelic, reminding James of sugar.

The blond wrapped his legs around James's waist as James pulled him in for another kiss. 

Their lips met softly as Steven opened his mouth ever so slightly,  allowing James to wet Steven's lips with the tip of his tongue. 

Suddenly feeling more confident,  Steven leaned forward into the kiss and parted his lips more,  allowing his own tongue to collide with James's. He placed his hands on James's shoulders and dug his fingernails into the man's neck when James lightly took Steven's bottom lip between his own teeth. 

He let out a mewl as James detached his lips from his and began to work his way down Steven's jawline with his mouth. 

James trailed down Steven's neck with his hit mouth, his tongue flicking occasionally against the smooth skin as Steven threw his head back and closes his eyes, never wanting the blissful feeling he was experiencing to end.

His red lips working down Steven's shoulders, James dug his fingers into the blond's waist.

Steven responded with a soft whimper as his breathing became heavier.

As James was just about to Steven's abdomen, Steven pulled back abruptly, a startled look frozen on his face.

James stared at him, wide eyed and confused. Half of him was afraid that he'd gone too far.  "What's wrong?"

Steven shook his head, still out of breath and slightly trembling now. "I'm sorry, James, but I don't think I can. . . I mean I can't. . ."

James continued to stare. "Steven,  you're not making any sense. Stop for a moment,  and breathe. "

Doing as James said,  Steven crossed his arms over his chest,  feeling insecure about his small frame once again,  and took several deep breaths until his breathing was almost back to normal.

James reached for Steven's hand,  only for Steven to pull away.
The Prince frowned. "What's this about? "

Steven bit his bottom lip softly and looked down,  now embarrassed by his behavior.

"I can't.  . . I can't have this.  . ."

"Have what,  darling? " James insisted,  so confused. Did Steven not want to be with him?  Just the thought made a mix of emotions churn within him,  a mix of sadness,  confusion and impending loneliness.  He didn't know what he would do if Steven left him.

Steven whimpered softly to himself as he kept his eyes fixated on the floor.  His eyes then flickered up to James.  "I'm sorry,  but this.  . . What we have.  . . It won't work. "

James reached for Steven's hands and clasped them in his,  not caring if Steven was shying away from his touch.  "But why?  It's been so good.  . ."

"It.  . . It won't work.  It was stupid of me to think that it would. "  He mumbled to himself.  "I should've known better.  You're the Prince and I'm.  . ."

The stronger man cupped Steven's face in his right hand,  not roughly,  but with just enough force that Steven had no choice but to look at him. He all but growled,  "Listen to me.  You are everything to me,  my whole world,  dammit.  Don't you ever,  ever think that you're below me,  darling. " He let go of his face as Steven stared at him silently,  doe eyed. 

James sighed and pulled him back into his arms.  He ran his fingers through the blond tufts on Steven's head and Steven hesitantly leaned into his embrace,  burrowing his face in the older man's neck.

He whispered a few soft words to him in Russian,  his native tongue.

Though he couldn't understand him,  Steven found comfort in the foreign words as he returned words of his own in French.

"I'm sorry.  . ." He apologized in French,  though he knew James couldn't understand him.  "I'm so,  so sorry I'm like this.  . ."

James tugged him closer just as Steven went to pull away.  "Won't you stay? " He suggested softly to the blond,  longing to wrap him up in his safe arms forever.

Steven locked eyes with the man for a moment.  He wanted nothing more than to stay. But he knew deep down that he was foolish to think that any relationship between them could ever work besides the one that they used to have,  where James sovereigned over him and Steven was ever so obedient.

Slowly,  he shook his head and pulled back,  though his body felt lonely and isolated without the Prince's warm arms around it. 

Without a word,  Steven grabbed his shirt up off the floor and slipped it on over his shoulders. 

Giving one last apologetic glance to James,  Steven silently slid out of the door,  leaving the Prince heartbroken and alone.

~

            Steven returned to his room in the servant's quarters. He loathed how empty it was without his mother's cheery presence around. 

He knew that if she were there,  she would take him into her soft, kind arms and hold him.  She would run her hands through his hair and tell him how precious he was to her, how much she loved and cherished him.  . .

But Steven's mother wasn't there.  She was gone. 

Steven had no arms to cry into, no one that would understand.

He'd told no one else what had happened to him.  No one else knew.

She was the only one that would understand why he withered away
from James's touch though he loved it so much.

Steven desperately wanted to tell James why he'd acted that way.  It wasn't necessarily because he didn't think that their relationship wouldn't work.  It had been going rather well.

Then he got flashbacks. 

The dull,  yet scarring memories of being touched when he hadn't wanted to be,  the reason why he was so uncomfortable with intimacy,  even if there was no other person he would rather share it with than James.

Steven laid down on his bed,  the material of the mattress cold under his head.

No,  it wasn't that he thought that their relationship wouldn't work.

He didn't think that he would work.