What the Actual

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It was the most awkward thing sitting on Mike's lap due to not me knowing him. Half way through the ride after a large bump in the road, he put his arms around my stomach  and his head on my shoulder. This made me a bit more nervous due to me normally not like being touched but he then whispered in my ear

"I'm not going to hurt you, I promise," I decided to trust him a bit and loosen up only for him to tighten his grip on my torso. My anxiety was going through the roof I was not comfortable in my skin or position especially since mike was sitting next to jaime and tony away from anyone I felt comfortable around.

"Faye are you ok?" Yoshi asked with a sympathetic, knowing look on his face.

"I'm fine," I respond knowing he knew my real response was probably along the lines of 'Help me'.

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I could finally see the venue  and tried to brace myself for everyone getting out. As we came into the parking lot.

Vic yelled out "Faye gets out first,"

"Seems fair," jaime says in response.

We parked and I got out with the help of everyone moving. Once out I instantly felt more relaxed and could breath. I then went to the trunk to get my stuff and help everyone else get theirs.

"What now?" Asked Kai

"Now we go to the bus and make it feel closer to home than it is," yoshi answered as he picked up his bag and headed in the way he thought the bus was. Quickening my pace to keep up with him we try to find our bus.

"Hey it's over here!" forest yells from a few buses away. Once there we enter the bus to find our normal touring bus opening with a tv and two couches then a small kitchen like spot and a door leading to a bathroom with a shower. Then there was another door leading to the part with the bunks(2 sets with 3 layered on both sides in other words 12 bunks) and if you keep going you get to our gaming spot with a large screen tv with several gaming consoles.

"Same bunks?" I ask

"I think that is best," Kai says starting for his normal bunk towards the back.

I decided to get my bunk sorted out now instead of later so I climbed up to my bunk on top and started to make my bed and reorganize pictures I keep in the bus of friends and family. I kept the old ones on the wall and added some new ones of Alexis, Clarke and I. My favorite picture we took was a selfie with the northern lights, that is one night I will never forget.

Once my bunk was sorted out I went to the bathroom and set my section up in there. Then I went to the back and opened our secret prank cupboard and started unloading the new supplies including silly string (my favorite), water guns, tons of flour, fake lottery tickets and tin foil in there. Deciding it was safe I went to go check out my drums which were in the trailer behind the bus.

My drums are handmade and took me forever to make. They are a translucent matte mint green color with christmas lights making them glow.

I decided to just ignore my band mates for the rest of the day, so I was going to retune and clean my drums. I got out the washcloth that I use and started wiping the dust off the drums beginning with the bass drum and its pedal.

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I'm about halfway done cleaning my drums when I hear someone clearing their throat. I look up to see Kellin standing awkwardly.

"You ok Kellin?" I ask a little suspicious,

"Well, I really need to talk to you," Kellin spoke nervously looking over his shoulder.

"Speak your mind, let it off your chest, you know I will not judge you."

"I know, it... it's just, that I really haven't talked about it with anyone before, but I need to," He said looking like his anxiety was worse then my depression at age 12.

"Come over here and sit down. Don't be afraid to say what is on your mind." I say trying to calm him down.

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