Haunted - band fanfiction

10

Ch10

Faye's pov

As I sang out the last lyrics of forgotten I could feel all the eyes that looked at me, I felt the courage and adrenaline. Oh how much I love doing this the one place my anxiety leaves me and I feel the most empowered. I leave every ounce of stress and nervousness on the stage in puddles of sweat. Some kids who listen to us tell us we are therapist through speakers but in a way we are the opposite we let the world know who we are as if they were the therapist and well they see us as humans rather than gods when we do. Hey, there is a new song idea therapeutic, would probably be the name.

We finish up the song and introduce the next band which just so happens to be All Time low. As we walk off the other side of the crowd near their side of the stage roared to life as they started playing kicking and screaming. I smiled remembered all the fun time I had with them on our last tour together. I felt a tap on my shoulder and saw Clarke. Her face flabbergasted as I remember that this is the first time she has seen them live. I giggle to myself as I turn back towards the stage watching friends who were once one of my biggest inspirations for joining a band, now they are the goofballs that help me get through a tour without breaking down. Yet today they almost caused a breakdown, that reminds me that I need to make sure that I tell Rian that I'm not scared of Brandon anymore. Maybe then he will talk to me again.

"They really are amazing," Clarke said still awestruck by the performance in front of her I hear a chuckle next to her realizing Alexis is there too.

"How long have you been waiting to see them live?" I ask "I always forget how many time you missed seeing them with Lexi and I."

"I've done my waiting 12 years of it, in Azkaban," She says making all of us burst into laughter. Not realizing they just ended the song and everyone heard us and we all went bright red as all of them laugh with us, repeating it to the crowd who had a harder time hearing it. Still embarrassed we continued to watch as they start playing I feel like dancing.

---------------------------time skip to when ATL is done playing------------------------------------------

(sorry for so many time skips I just can't think of better transitions.)

I left everyone and headed for the bus to think, My mind is everywhere I can't focus. My sight begins to blur, I stop and breathe waiting until my sight clears. Why am I able to go on stage and perform but if I am put on a pedestal I break down in tears with an anxiety attack? Why can't I react like a normal person? Why can't I find courage in other times rather than just in making music or for others? Why can't I stand up for myself?

Questions flood my mind until I focus on my breathing and my eyes focus as I begin to walk again hurrying to my bus to avoid humiliation. When I get there I go to the bathroom looking in the mirror as tears stream down my face. Where is it? I scramble to find the shiny blade that I promised myself I wouldn't use. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I attack my own mind?

I finally find my razor I roll up the sleeve of my flannel and cut until my mind clears. I begin to wash my arm as the boys come onto the bus I know there is no use in hiding the cuts as Yoshi hugs me from behind and helps me bandage up. At this point, the boys know not to yell at me for cutting because I only get worse if they do.

"We may have people coming over to the bus in a minute how fast can you fix her up Yoshi?" Forrest asks

"She should be good in a sec, " he said pinning the bandages and pulling down my sleeves

"Thanks," I whisper as a few people walk on the bus.

"Ummm.... H, why are you all looking at us awkwardly?" Kellin who was behind a few people asked as all of us look down chuckling a bit before trying to act more normal "Okay, what is going on? Something is up?" As he says this everyone turns silent before my whole band looks at me. "Faye, what is going on here?"

"Well.... umm it is kinda personal so ah..." I respond stuttering not wanting the 10/15 people in front of me to know I cut.

"Oh, ok," he said looking sadder than before

"Anyway let's go do something," Jack (Fowler) who was in front of Kellin

"Yeah..." we all said in agreement. Before we left the bus heading out to go do something.

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