My personal rants

Update on life

School
So it's a new school year I guess lmao. It's been aight so far tbh but I really just don't like going to school anyways so. It's just really stressful and I feel like I'm failing geometry even though I only have a B. BUT we got the new ten point grading scale which is lit as fuck bc that makes getting good grades so much easier. Ummm we got a couple new kids which is pretty cool, one of them seems pretty lit. I'm liking Spanish a lot, and our teacher is really cool. One of my teachers has a lot of daddy potential tbh and he's only like 28 lmao. It's annoying though because a lot of the girls in my science class are all giggly and trying to be cutesy around him instead of doing their work (even though it's a honors class?). My Honors geometry and honors English teachers are giving us homework every night, even on Fridays and I'm like :))))))) pls let us rest.
Homecoming is coming up too and I'm kind of stressed about it. Like I want to go to the dance but I also don't want it to be awkward. And I also would want to go to the game, but idk if there would be time/how I would change to transition between them. There's also the part where I'd have to get a formal dress and those are expensive so I just don't know. Maybe it'll all work out.
I just kind of rambled here but if you're one of my homies and you read all of this, bless u

A boy

     Okay so there's this boy that likes me right. And I found out at like the end of last year because he asked me out. I said no when he asked, because I feel like that at this point in our lives we don't really have enough independence (or at least I don't) to have a real relationship (like being able to go on dates.) I told him that he could ask me again when I'm 16, and he took that as me saying that we will definitely date when we're 16. Now this is a really sweet boy and I'm sure he'd be a great boyfriend, but there's several reasons why I think we'd be awful together.
     1) He's a super religious Christian. I am also a Christian but I don't take my faith as seriously as he does and I'm like 99% sure that would cause some issues. He founded a bible study that you have to get to school early for for gods sake and I joke about how I would be friends with a spawn of Satan.
     2)  I'm not really the kind of person he thinks I am. I try really hard at school for people to never really see me be depressed or super anxious. I brush those things off quickly because I know that no one really wants to deal with that kind of thing. I let my best friends see it in me because I know they don't care, but he and I aren't that close. He knows me as a happy person who constantly jokes, not the person who constantly has to work not to hate herself and gets such bad anxiety she can't breathe. I don't know how i would explain these things either? It took me over a year to tell one of my best friends about the first bout of depression/self hate I had.
     3)  Honestly, I simply don't think he's that cute at the moment. Like he's not ugly I just don't particularly think he's attractive. I know this sounds conceited as fuck, but I am a conceited person. It would be hard for me to date someone I don't think is cute because that's just the way I am. Maybe I'll think he's cute in the future but idk.
      4) I like someone else, but that's a secret I won't elaborate on.
      So yeah all of this mad me feel kind of like an asshole, but also better so idk.