Him. [Jake Gyllenhaal & Ryan Gosling AU]

Part 2

RYAN'S POV:

I wake up the next morning with sunlight from the window streaming in my face. It takes me a moment to figure out where the hell I am, and then I turn to my side and see Jake sleeping peacefully beside me. Holy fuck, last night rushes back to me in a few seconds. Did I really leave the bar and show up at his place announced and start sucking his cock? What the fuck has gotten into me? I feel my pulse racing as I think about what I did to him last night, and more importantly what he did to me. I wasn't even that drunk and I shudder as I remember the way I begged him to touch me.

I glance over at Jake who is completely passed out, lying on his back. His hair is matted down on his forehead and he smells like pine trees and sex. The sheets are tangled around his hips and he has a dark line of hair trailing all the way down to his--- what the fuck am I doing? Am I checking him out? I groan as I feel my erection I wasn't even aware I had pressing against the mattress. Clearly last nights events kept me horny all night long. I peak over at Jake and see him tenting the sheets as well. Jesus Christ, I think.

I step out of the bed as quietly as possible and find my jeans and boxer briefs spread across the bedroom floor. I quickly shove my briefs and jeans up my legs as quietly as I can, and grab my white collared shirt off the floor, my phone lying next to it. I tap my lock screen and it says 9:05am. I rub my forehead and slip my phone in my jeans pocket and head for the door. I see my shoes lying next to the front door and grab those on the way out. I'm quickly buttoning my shirt as I walk down the hallway to the elevator.

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Hours later, I get a text from Jake.

Why did you leave so soon? I wanted to make breakfast, it reads.

I panic for some reason. I left because whatever happened last night can't happen again. I left because I'm not into guys. I've been having sex with women for nearly twenty years now, and I never even imagined having sex with a guy. I'm not homophobic but the thought of having sex with a guy is completely foreign to me, and it forces me to question things about myself that I never even considered before.

I had somewhere I needed to be, I quickly reply.

Are you freaking out?, he replies.

A little. I just need some time, I reply.

Okay, we can talk later, he replies.

I can't tell if he's upset or not. He's so vague over text. I wonder if he's freaking out like I am or if it's just me. I wonder if he's been with a guy before? These are all things I should have asked before I darted out of there this morning but I couldn't face him completely sober and in broad daylight. I hate feeling vulnerable and I was more vulnerable last night than I have been in years.

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Later that night I head to the club. I know it sounds awful, but maybe if I have sex with a woman then I'll be able to get Jake out of my head and this whole situation will blow over. I walk into the club just after 9pm, and the night is alive. The club is pulsing with music and the dance floor is crowded with women.

I down a couple of shots and start flirting with a pretty blonde with blue eyes and an amazing body, and I finally feel like myself again. She asks me to dance and I happily agree, falling into place behind her as our bodies bump and grind to the beat of the song. She has an incredible ass and it feels fucking amazing when she grinds on me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see movement at the bar, and that's when I spot Jake, sitting at a stool and drinking. Fuck, I think. For some reason I start to panic. Has he seen me? How long has he been sitting there? Is he upset I'm dancing with a girl? Wait-- why do I care? I'm not in a relationship with him, right? We just hooked up last night, that's all. It didn't mean anything... did it?