i'm holding on for dear life- harleyxjoker

throw em' back, till i loose count

back again! same warnings still apply! thanks for reading x

The water filled up quickly much to Harley's delight as she stripped away her clothes and looked herself over in the mirror. He had messed her up pretty bad this time. The bruises rippled out over her stomach and shoulders already turning a dark purple colour, the odd cut splayed out in between them. Her ribs were swollen, making taking deep breaths incredibly painful. At least he had left her face relatively unharmed this time.

She sighed, picking up the hair brush to pull the knots free from her blonde curls. She knew his anger was getting worse. His inability to pull off any heists due to batman being increasingly vigilant was begining to wear him down. And she was his very own personal punching bag. Harley turned away from the mirror towards the bath before stopping as something orange caught her eye. She picked up the small vile of pills, turning it over in her hands to read the label. 'Patient: Harleen Quinzel Function: Sleeping pills.' Oh. she had almost forgot that she had these. Taking them from Arkham had seemed like a fun way to get a hit, before being painfully reminded by Mistah J that those type of pills were useless for what he wanted. She sighed and put the vile beside the bath before stepping in.

The water scolded her pale skin, but she could hardly feel the heat burning her body. She needed to feel clean. She needed to be clean of him.Franticly, she began scrubbing herself with the bar of soap, ignoring the way her body protested under her harsh assault. She needed to be clean. She needed it. Tears sprang to her eyes again and she let them fall freely. Her cries echoed off of the tiled walls and she hugged her knees close to her chest.

She hated him. She hated him for making her feel this way. For almost killing her and themn showering her with kisses. For making her feel so disgusting but so good. She leaned back, submerging her entire face under the water, reviling in how good it felt when her lungs burned for oxygen. It felt so right.

She sat up, gasping hard, filling her lungs up with the air they so desperately needed. She blinked a few times, focusing on the white tiles in front of her. That felt good. Knowing she was in control of when she could breathe. The decision of whether or not she was going to live or die entirely in her hands. She was in control. And she knew what she wanted. For once, she was going to make a decision for herself. She wasn't going to be his doormat anymore.

The adrenaline surged into her blood and she looked around, desperate to find something that could assist her in the deed. Her eyes fell on the orange container placed beside the bath. Perfect. She rushed forward, causing water to spill over the side of the tub and grabbed them greedily, popping off the cap and letting it sink to the tubs floor. She exhaled and looked into the container, carefully measuring herself a small hand full of pills.

Would he be angry with her? Would he hit her cold body until it was nothing but a bruised mess on the bathroom tiles? She brought her hand to her mouth, tipping the pills down her throat and swallowing a few times to force them down into her stomach. Maybe he would be sad? What a joke this would be! No, he wouldn't be sad, he would get the joke. how funny she would be to him. His forever funny Harley Quinn. She looked down at the orange container. Maybe it wan't enough. Maybe she needed to take more. She poured herself another generous handful of small pills and forced them into her mouth again. She gagged momentarily before forcing them down, cupping some bath water in her hands and drinking it to guide them down her throat easier. Good. That would do it. She hazily placed the remaining pills in the bottle beside the bath and leaned back, finally able to relax into the steam.

She looked blankly at the white tiles and began to laugh. So this was it. This was how she was going to go. She had always imagined something a little more dramatic, like at the hands of bats or her puddin. sSe never imagined this scenario. Hysteric laughter rolled from her lips as she thought about it. She was weak. She always had been weak. She though Harley Quinn would make her stronger. At least the pills drowned out the reasonable voice in her brain. No more lecture, no more screaming, no more. Just nothing. Finally, she would experience silence again.

Her stomach churned uncomfortably and she groaned. Maybe this was a bad idea... Could she throw them all back up? She tried to stand up in the tub, but her body wouldn't listen to her commands. It just lay there weakly under the bloody water. Her head was going fuzzy now, and she could't even remember why she took the pills in the first place. She always was a stupid little girl. Se was going to be so angry with her.

She couldn't stop her eyes from closing, her lids heavy as she slid down further into the bath. She could faintly hear the sound of water sloshing over the side and was that a car? It all sounded so far away. Too far away. Her head hurt. He was going to be so mad at her. Her lips met water and soon her whole face was submerged and she couldn't sit up. So much for that control. He was going to be mad. Oh god, he was going to be so angry with her.