A Gay Experience

Evaluating

I hate to say it, with it being completely true and all, but I spent a good 5 minutes evaluating the dick pic. NOT checking it out. Evaluating it. I think it was the first time I actually looked at a dick that wasn't mine.

Not gonna lie, I was fucking intrigued. Never really saw another dick as gross 'cause double standards aren't me. But this one was cool. Well, as cool as another person's penis could be. I was definitely NOT gay, just looking.

After gazing at the cock for a while I tried exiting out and it fucking WORKED! I breathed a sigh of fucking relief as I rejoiced in having my precious child again. Once I finished jumping for joy like a lunatic I pondered for a sec.

Being on that completely straight expedition was quite the time spender. No harm in continuing, right?

I hesitantly clicked in the main blog of the post and went to the tag labeled "dicks."

Hell was about to be fucking evaluated.

The posts ranged from pretty normal to having actual attractive people in them. I freaked out whenever a post would make my heart rate increase. . .just like how Anthony would —

"What're you doing?"

I couldn't respond with anything but a scream as I threw my phone against the wall. God, I felt my heart jump out of my chest! Seemed like luck wasn't on my side as my phone landed fucking right side up.

"What's up?!"

I ATTEMPTED a calm voice but it all ran together at a loud ass volume.

Anthony just chuckled. He fucking chuckled. My face grew hot as I tackled my phone and hid the evidence.

"I just wanted to know if you had any ideas for dinner, 'cause I sure as hell don't."

Motherfucker had the audacity to stretch in the doorway wearing a short ass shirt. I would've pouted had I not been scared shitless.

Shit, he was still looking at me. "Uh, mashed potatoes related," I stammered, looking everywhere EXCEPT his eyes.

Oh, shit.

My eyes glazed over his biceps, his hips, and — the weird ass socks I got him as a joke for Chrismas. I would've laughed it off had it not have been for the fucking crotch bulge he was sporting!

"OKAY! See ya!" I tripped on my own feet as I shoved him out the door. I kept my ear against the door and didn't relax until I heard his footsteps lead away.

I crawled back into my bed and quietly screamed into a pillow for a sec. That was WAY too close.

But close to what?

I was pretty sure Anthony would understand my need to evaluate shit and stuff. He was understanding like that.

But I was pretty fucking sure that even Anthony wouldn't appreciate one of his bros staring at his. . .privates.

God, it wasn't the time to be thinking about all that. Wait, how was I supposed to get through dinner with his cock on my mind?!

What he was wearing wasn't helping either. My mind may have accidentally drifted off, filled with images of him in his dumb outfits.

He actually had a nice sense of style and a nice personality — why the hell was he single?!

I sighed to myself. That entire situation happened 'cause of penises. I cringed. None of this would've happened if I hadn't noticed that I stared at his dumbass!

I sighed again but with a positive reason behind it. Anthony did have a nice ass – NO!

What the fuck was I drinking to cause gay thoughts?!