awaken: adopted by tyler and jenna joseph sequel: [✔️]

chapter 3: the journal

Tyler

I made a mistake. A big one too. I didn't know what came over me, but I'm so angry at myself for doing it.

3 hours ago

"Here, let me play the piano and Josh can play the drums," Bowie said to Harley.

"Ugh, fine" Harley said wheeling away. Luckily, Jenna talked to the doctor and she can get out of that stupid thing tomorrow when she gets one of her casts removed.

"Ooh can I sing," Josh asked.

"No I want to sing!" I yelled to Josh.

"Tyler, you always sing let me sing please," Josh begged.

"How about Harley sings," Bowie suggested, wiggling her eyebrows. I'm so glad Josh adopted Bowie. I wasn't only glad that Harley would always have her around, but Bowie was so talented, nice and sweet and I was glad she was now a part of the Joseph/Dun family.

"No thanks, I'm good," She said.

"Please I want to hear you sing," I said.

"No! I refuse," She said laughing. I love her laugh. It could make anyone happy. Especially me.

"Harley, I'll sing with you. We can do, Afraid, or Chocolate, or Somebody Else, or If I believe you or any song that we used to sing together. You won't be alone. Please Harley," Bowie said.

"Let's do Robbers," Harley said, smiling evily.

"No, no ever since I saw that video, I can never think of it the same again. All that replays in my head is Matty getting shot, over and over again," Bowie replied. After about 3 minutes of begging, Bowie agreed. Josh and I sat down on the small couch that was in the room, and they started. Bowie was amazing at the piano, but their singing. Wow.

"She had a face straight outta magazine

God only knows but you'll never leave her
Her balaclava is starting to chafe
When she gets his gun he's begging, babe stay, stay, stay, stay, stay

I'll give him one more time
We'll give you one more fight
Said one more lie
Will I know you

Now if you never shoot, you'll never know
And if you never eat, you'll never grow
You've got a pretty kinda dirty face
When she's leaving your home she's begging you, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay

I'll give you one more time
We'll give you one more fight
Just said one more line
There'll be a riot, 'cause I know you

Well, now that you've got your gun
It's much harder now the police have come
Now shoot him if it's what you're worth
But if you just take off your mask
To find out that everything's gone wrong,

Now everybody's dead
And they're driving past my old school
And he's got his gun, he's got his suit on
She says, babe, you look so cold, you look so cold, you look so cold
You look so cold, you look so cold, you look so cold"

I had no words. It was amazing. I stood up.

"Wow," I said smiling. Bowie smiled and stood up, Harley smiled too. I looked over to Josh who had the biggest smile on his face. He jumped up, ran over to the girls, and picked Bowie up, and hugged her spinning her around. I hugged Harley, as she hugged back. Josh put Bowie down, and hugged Harley.

"You're amazing," he whispered. I hugged Bowie too. Bowie and Harley truly are amazing.Bowie was great with talking to Jenna and I while Harley was sick. I really appreciate it.

Everyone was sitting in the living room, Jenna came back downstairs too. She was acting odd lately, and I think everyone noticed.

"Tyjo?" Harley asked.

"What's up?"

"Can you go get my phone charger? It's on my desk," She asked. I nodded and stood up, and walked into her room. I looked on her desk and grabbed the charger, but couldn't help but notice a journal. My name was in it. I know it was wrong of my for reading, but my name was in it. I couldn't help it.

September 3rd 2015

Today is a hard day for me. I've been 4 days clean. I'm so glad that I'm with Tyler and Jenna. They've really been helping me out. It's really hard though. Sometimes I'm happy to be alive, but sometimes I want to jump off a bridge. I don't know anymore.

A small tear rolled down onto the paper. She's 16, and she thinks about this? I flipped back a little bit.

August 9th 2015

I'm going to end my fucking life. I hate myself. I'm a disgrace to society. I'm ugly, number one I'm fat, my nose is huge, my eyes are to small, my complexion is to pale, not even all the makeup in the FUCKING WORLD can make me pretty. It's not just how I look, it's what's going on in my head. Shadow is back and it won't leave. That's right I named the damn voices in my head. I swear I can see it. I named it Shadow, because it's like my shadow. It will always be there no matter what. Shadow looks just like me, Shadow is me. Bowie's worse though. She tried to kill herself for like the 5th time about a week ago. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to kill myself. I'll be happy when I'm dead. I want to be dead. I don't know what's wrong with me. My anxiety makes it fucking impossible to talk to anyone, so there goes getting adopted, and after what happened with Elizabeth, I can't trust anyone. I'm better off dead.

I was sobbing my eyes out now. This was only 4 months ago. It was like 3 days before Jenna and I adopted her. I wish I was earlier. I wish I could've helped her. And Bowie too. Does Josh know?

"Tyler are you alright?" Harley asked. I put down the book and wiped my eyes and turned around.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just got something in my eye," I replied, sitting on her bed.

"Really, Tyler what's wrong?" Harley asked coming over to where I was. I couldn't hold anything in anymore.

"Tell me what's wrong," Harley said rubbing my back.

"It was wrong of me, I know everything in there is confidential and private, but I saw my name, and I couldn't stop myself from reading it," I cried.

"Y-you read my j-journal?" Harley asked. Her face dropped, and she looked scared, like I was going to yell at her.

"I'm sorry Harley, I saw my name, and I just,"

"It's okay, I'm not mad," She said smiling.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Sure," She said.

"Do you still think those things?" I asked. Her eyes welled up with tears, as she looked down slightly nodding.

"I'm sorry," She said sobbing into my chest.

"Don't be sorry, it's okay, shhh," I said rubbing her back.

"Thank you Tyler, I love you,"

"I love you too,"

AWW IMAGINE WHEN TYLER AND JENNA HAVE KIDS CAN I PLEASE BABY SIT THOSE CUTE THINGS OMH FBFHBFHBFJFFF.

anyway, enough of my fangirling. I'm glad most of you guys like the story so far! I really enjoy writing these. Don't worry I won't be ending the series anytime soon.

that's it for this chapter! I have like the next 3 chapters ready for next week!

love you all!

-abbey |-/