awaken: adopted by tyler and jenna joseph sequel: [✔️]

chapter 27- march to the sea

this chapter is before last chapter! it might sound confusing but you'll get the gist of it

Bowie
"Hi, Dad?" I asked coming out of the bathroom.

"Yeah hun?" He asked turning to me for a second.

"Can I go for a walk?" I asked, twisting the ties of my sweatshirt.

"It's dark out, its late, I don't want you out al-"

"I had a panic attack. I need some fresh air," I lied.

"Oh, okay, um, want some water?" He asked walking to the fridge.

"No, it's okay," I smiled.

"Okay, stay safe. Love you," He said.

"Love you too," I said walking out of Harley's house.

After all, this would be the last time I saw him.

At least, I hoped.

I got a chill when I stepped out of the warm house into the spring, night air. At the end of next month the boys were going on a world tour.

I probably won't make it until then.

After the lung surgery, I've been feeling really, really sick. Throwing up a lot, migraines, and the scars I had from the surgery have swelled up. I stopped in front of Josh's car and looked in it. I saw my reflection. I was skinny. I looked tired. I looked sick. I pulled up my sweatshirt a bit and looked at the scars I had. My battle scars.

I sighed, and continued to walk down the driveway. I plugged in my headphones and listened to whatever song played first. I heard a ukulele strum and I knew immediately what song it was and smiled.

"There's miles of land in front of us,
and we're dying with every step we take,
we're dying with every breath we make," I hummed along. I walked down the dark pavement to the beach. It wasn't too far from the house. Maybe, 5 minutes at the least.

"Then I start, down the sand,
my eyes are focused, on the end of land,
but then the voice inside my head,
follow me instead,"

I reached the sand and took off my converse and socks, tossing them to the side. I started to walk down to the shore. I stood in the mud for a minute. The wave came up, soaking my ankles and my jeans. It was cold, and I flinched a bit. But I didn't care.

"Follow me instead,"

I heard Josh's voice in my head.

"Don't do it,"

"It's not worth it,"

But it is.

"Follow me instead,"

I took out my head phones and threw them into the ocean. I tossed my phone over by my shoes.

"Goodbye," I whispered. I stepped into the water, a bit more, and a bit more. God, it was cold. I needed something to take my mind off of it, so I decided to sing.

"Now, the night, is coming to an end, oooh, ooh, ooh, oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh, ooh"

Knee deep.

"The sun, will rise, and we will try again, oooh, ooh, ooh, oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh, ooh"

Thigh deep.

"Stay alive, Stay alive, for me. You will die, but know your life is free, take pride in what is sure, too die,"

I heard the sirens in the distance. I wonder if anyone saw me. I was now shoulder deep and I lost feeling in my legs. I turned around one last time, I saw the police cars, the ambulance.

And then I saw Jenna and Tyler's car, driving along the road. I smiled, and dove under water. I felt light headed, but I forced myself not to come up for air. I couldn't take it anymore. I stopped fighting. I lost feeling.

I lost hope.

I lost love.

I lost life.
-----------------
I felt someone pushing on my chest, but I sat up and pushed them away.

"You alright?" A paramedic asked. I started coughing, and shaking, and spitting up water. I nodded my head a bit.

"My Dad, where's my Dad?" I asked looking around. They gave me my phone when I saw Josh run towards me. He picked me up, and I wrapped my arms around his neck really tight and held myself close to him. I was still shaking. Harley was running behind us. Josh put me in the back of the car where I held the blanket around myself. All I heard was ringing in my ears. They must've listen to the track if they found me.

When Josh pulled into the driveway, all I wanted to do was scream. I was crying, I had my hands covering my ears, I was rocking back and forth, and it was terrible. I started to calm down a bit in Josh's arms.

He layed me down on Harley's bed and gave me clothes to change into. I went in the bathroom and put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I sat down and looked at the ceiling. I felt a burning sensation on my arm. I rolled up my sleve and looked where I had the drain for my blood. It was red.

It looked infected.

I rubbed it a bit and walked out into the living room where Tyler and Josh were talking.

"Dad?" I said just above a whisper. Tyler and Josh's head whipped toward me.

"What's wrong sweetie? Why don't you take a nap or something in Harley's room," Tyler said.

"My drain thing on my arm hurts," I said. Tyler walked over and rolled up my sleeve on my arm.

"Jeez, Josh come here," He said. Josh walked over.

"Come on, I'll take you to the doctors," Josh said. I walked next to him and held his hand.

Here's to the long drive to the hospital

HAPPY 2017 BITCHES

ITS LIT

im going to die

-abbey |-/