The Adventures of a Scrawny Musician and a Compulsive Liar

11. Midnight Make-ups and Scarring Secrets

At the far end of the hallway I saw Natalie walking towards her fourth period which was coincidentally the opposite direction in I walked towards mine. She looked the same. Her wispy blonde hair bounced around her face as she walked and her charming funky socks adorned her feet as usual. But she wasn’t the same Natalie as before.

She didn’t smile anymore.

We haven’t talked to each other in weeks.

It was driving me insane, I swear.

She looked up and her big brown eyes clashed with mine. Immediately looking away, she hurried up her pace so she’d already be out of my line of sight before I have a chance to even think about talking to her. Enough was enough. I was going to get an explanation out of her even if I had to camp out in her front yard until morning.

I had an extremely bad feeling something was wrong with her. And I intended to find out exactly what it was.

            Knock. Knock.

The door opened and Natalie’s eyes widened in surprise when she saw me.

“L-Laurie, what are you doing here?” Something in my chest jumped at hearing her call me by my nickname but I tried to ignore it and focus on the matter on hand.

“We need to talk.” I was admittedly proud at how strong and no-nonsense my tone came out. There was no way Natalie was backing out of this one. She seemed to know it too because she let me in without a word of protest and gently closed the door behind her. The first thing I noticed was how quiet it was.

“Where are your parents?” I asked.

“They’re at work.” She replied, picking at her fingers.

“I see.” I turned around and took a few steps toward her until I was right up in her face. “What did you mean by ‘you don’t deserve someone as fucked up as I am’?”

She looked me right in the eye and said, “Exactly what I said.”

And then I realized that there was some part of me that hoped she was just joking and didn’t mean it and nothing was wrong but the moment I saw her face when she said that, I knew this was serious.

“What’s wrong?” I asked in a much softer voice. It scared me how fragile Natalie looked right now. Her lower lip wobbled and her eyebrows were drawn together at the forehead in misery. Her head turned away from me for a moment and she closed her eyes in thought.

Opening them, she said, “Please don’t leave me, Laurie.”

Confused, I asked, “What?”

“After I show you what I’m about to show you, please don’t leave me.”

“I’d never leave you,” I replied without thinking. Sensing that I was sincere, she slowly gripped the sleeve of her cardigan and pulled it up, exposing the skin underneath.

Neat row after neat row of scars lined her delicate arm.

She pulled up the sleeve of her left and the same scars were there too.

It took a while for my mind to process what I was seeing.

Natalie hastily moved to pull down her sleeves after seeing my reaction, but I grabbed both her hands in mine before she could succeed. With a trembling finger, I slowly traced the scars of the left arm I held. Feeling the ridges and the bumps of the topography of her skin, I could barely breathe.

“Did... Did you do this?” I asked timidly.

“Yeah,” she replied in a small voice. A few moments of silence passed as I tried to think up what to say next. “Are you gonna leave me now?”

Taking a deep breath, I looked up and replied, “No.” Before I could say another word, Natalie flung her arms around me and embraced me in a deep hug. I felt her tears soaking through the shoulder of my T-shirt, but I could care less about that right now. Hugging her back, I felt something twist in my gut at the thought of her being so miserable and alone that she’d have to resort to this to find relief from her own mind.

“I hadn’t done it in a while,” her hushed voice traveled to my ear. “When we got back from the fireworks that night… it was the first time in weeks. Maybe even months.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” My question seemed so immature. Honestly, I didn’t know what else I could say.

“Just… stay here for a little bit longer. I just need someone with me for a few minutes.” Natalie pulls back and leads me to the couch in the living room. We sit down and as she nuzzled into my side, I wrapped an arm around her body and leaned my head against hers.

And then I said something incredibly stupid and I know I’ve only known her for a little more than over a month, but I couldn’t help it when I blurted out, “I think I love you, Natalie.”

Turning her head up, the wide smile that I’ve grown to miss stretched across her face as she answered, “I think I love you too, Laurie.”

That certainly could have ended much, much worse.

“Did she call him up last night for a midnight make-up bang or something? Jesus Christ, they’re all over each other.” Nathaniel said to me the next day as we watched Evan and Isobel macking all over each other at the oak tree a few feet away from our lunch table.

“It’s so terrifying to watch… yet I can’t look away,” Nathaniel mumbled in a stunned voice.

“I know what you mean, bro.” I answered. I guess I’m a bit happy for them. I mean, they are my best friends. Admittedly, it’s quite nice seeing them together again and not building huge awkward walls in between the rest of the group with the tensioned atmosphere that follows them around like a cloud whenever they fight. Then again, it was like watching my sister make out with someone. Except Evan was like my brother too. God, this was disturbing. MAKE THEM STOP.

“Hey Evan! You wanna, oh, I don’t know, take a break from suffocating your girlfriend with your slobber and acknowledge your best friends’ presence?” I yelled towards the couple. Their heads snapped back up and they both looked away sheepishly.

“Sorry, bro.” Evan called back as he walked back over to our lunch table. Isobel trailed behind him, holding Evan’s hand with a goofy grin on her face. “I was kinda preoccupied.”

“We know,” Nathaniel stated dryly with a pointed glare before he opened a Twinkie wrapper from underneath the table. Sneaking bites of it, he repeatedly glanced over to Isobel to see if she noticed. Luckily, she’s too far off in lovey-dovey land and hasn’t come back to earth yet. Nathaniel waits for the opportune moment before stuffing the rest of the yellow cake into his mouth which in turn causes his cheeks to balloon out like a chipmunk’s. The sight would’ve been ridiculous if I wasn’t so used to it by now.

“Dude, I’m not freaking blind.” Isobel retorted to Nathaniel. “Spit it out. Now.”

Testing the waters, Nathaniel shook his head.

“I’m not kidding Nathaniel, spit it out.”

He shook his head.

“Spit it out.” The volume of her voice rose a bit by now.

He shook his head even more rigorously this time.

“NATHANIEL, YOU SPIT OUT THAT ABOMINATION OF A SNACK FOOD OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL--”

He swallowed.

“Oh, fuck.” I cursed, horrified.

“Take cover, man. TAKE COVER.” Evan yelled before he dragged me down with him underneath the lunch table.

The next thing I hear are two sets of feet furiously pounding the dirt and a high feminine voice screeching death threats too graphic to ever reiterate to another human being.

“Roses or lilies?” Evan asked.

“What?”

“I’m picking out the flowers for Nathaniel’s memorial service.”

“Oh, then, go with the roses, definitely. More sophisticated.”

“Gotcha.”