she didn't think anyone who doesn't have it understands what it's like to be depressed.
for her, depression was like having someone constantly whispering in her ear that she wasn't enough, that no one loved her, that she was useless.
depression was a cloud of sadness and self hatred that wouldn't go away.
her younger sister was always happy. she tried to understand what was going on and what it felt like and how to help, but it didn't work. sometimes she'd find the young girl up at the earliest hours of the morning on her laptop, reading articles about dealing with depression. but none of it helped her older sister.
her parents hated her for her illnesses. they constantly criticized her. calling her useless, stupid, a waste of time and space. she supposed that was all she really was anyway.
her online friends were a life boat. they and her sister were the only things that kept her alive for the 15 shameful years that she called her existence.
depression was the ocean that constantly pulled at her feet, tempting her to dive deep into it.
her parents were the waves, pushing her further off the boat.
she was so close to the edge that every ripple of current made her consider giving up on trying to stay alive. after all, her arms were starting to ache from holding on.
drowning looked so nice from there.
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why try?
Poetryshe had it all. depression. anxiety. bulimia. she binged often. she cut herself. she cried. and then it got too much. so she did the only thing that seemed possible to escape the darkness that controlled her, haunting her, following her. su...
