why try?

drowning.

" dear mum, dad and leslie,
if you're reading this, i'm gone.
i'm sorry i was never good at sport, or music, or smart like leslie was.
i'm sorry i was ugly and fat.
i'm sorry you had to put up with me for 15 years.
it's better this way, i swear.
you won't have to pay for my education.
or food and water and clothes for me.
spend that money on leslie.
she deserves it, unlike me.
i wont be around to annoy you now.
and the voice in my head will be gone.
even though you were always mad at me, mum and dad, i still loved, still love, you.
leslie, my dearest sister.
you were the only thing that kept me going for so long.
look after yourself, don't hang around the wrong people, maintain your grades and music and sporting status.
i wasn't happy being alive.
i'd drowned in my head and heart long before my body did.
please don't look for it.
you won't find it anyway, it'll just be a waste of time and money.
besides, you don't want your final memory of me to be when i'm dead.
i don't want yours to be that either.
mum and dad and leslie.
i'm gone.
but i love you.
and i wanted you to know that i always have and i always will.
so goodbye.
mum and dad;
i know you didn't love me.
i was a failure of a daughter.
leslie though,
you tried so hard to make me happy.
i know you cared about me,
and that you loved me,
but sometimes not even love can save someone. "

they found the letter on the kitchen table.

leslie was the only one who cried.