Basically a Blog. This is not a how-to, but a journey of rediscovering who I am. I can guarantee there WILL be mistakes for I am human. Mistakes do not define who we are, how we respond does.
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Picture Above: Myself with a group of friends getting ready to go out to celebrate my 20th birthday
So, it's been a while since I've posted anything. I've been in Scotland for over two months. I've managed to see a lot of things I never thought I'd get to see. I've been to countries I didn't know I would ever visit. I've traveled by plane, train and bus a record amount of times. When crossing the street I look right left right, rather than left right left. I've aged another year. I've conquered my fear of heights (okay, maybe not conquered but I can climb a mountain). I have undeniably changed.
Before leaving the states, I was told that studying abroad would change me. I didn't really believe anyone. It is almost cheesy to say such a thing. Yet it is true. When I choose to go to Scotland, one of the key factors in my decision was the fact that "Scotland isn't too different from Wisconsin". In some aspects I was right, both places for example use English as their native language. Since being here I have discovered some of the differences between the two, such as the fact that hot fudge and Swedish Fish do not seem to exist in this country. Another difference I've discovered, is myself.
Pre-Scotland Self V. Scotland Self
Back home I valued my relationships with others more than my relationship with myself. Meaning I put more effort into others than I did myself. I cared more about what others thought of me, than what I thought of me. I allowed the people around me to define who I was. I gave others the power to make or break a day for me. I don't think all of this is a bad thing, but it was to such an extreme that is was problematic.
Since being in Scotland, I've learned that I need to be able to say who I am for myself. I still value the friendships that I've made, but I've learned that it is okay to take some "me time". If you don't take care of yourself first, you'll never be able to fully be there for others. I've learned to be responsible for myself, and to remain level headed when things go wrong. Okay, so maybe I'm still working at that one, but there's definitely been an improvement. The thing is, I'm not done changing either. And I can't wait to see the finished product.
