Good Enough (Zerrie story)

Good Enough

~Author's Note: Okay guys! The sequel to this book is up now it's called 'Half A Heart' love you! Follow me on twitter I follow back and if you ever need someone to talk to just message me. :) @crazybookgurl21 ~

                 *Prologue*

Am I still not Good Enough? Am I still not worth that much?

I'm sorry for the way my life turned out....

I wrote down the words as I silently cried. I can't take this anymore! I threw the pen down angrily on the worn wooden table, glancing at the picture of Zayn and I together makes a soft sigh leave my lips. We were so happy together...With tears brimming my eyes I throw the picture frame to the ground and watch as the glass shatter into pieces.

I am Perrie Edwards. This is my life. And it sucks.

"I'm supposed to be strong. I'm not supposed to be heartbroken over some boy." I whisper to myself. Looking down at the picture underneath the glass edges, I pick up the picture not even worrying about glass cutting my hand place the picture back on the desk.

But I am. He was the only one I ever loved.

I need him. I need him here with me.

"No, I don't need him." I whispered to myself and sighed softly. You know you need him Perrie. A voice in my head says.  More tears fall from my eyes and I stare at the picture again.

"Yes you do."  My conscience tells me. His chocolate brown eyes, his cute little smirk.

"Ugh. Shut up!" I yelled at my brain and pulled at my hair. I grabbed my phone from the charger and turned it on. Some messages from my mum, she is the only one that really cares about me anymore.

Logging onto Twitter I hope that it will calm me down a bit. Maybe I could talk to some fans.

"@Perrie_Edwards- I hate you stupid bitch! No wonder Zayn broke up with you. Your useless!"- @xIhatepigedwardsx

"@Perrie_Edwards  @Ihatepigedwards Ikr! Perrie acts like she's so heartbroken about Zayn when we all know she cheated on him!"- @dieperrietheplatopus_123

The hate didn't just stop there. Hundreds, of tweets telling me how worthless I am. I already know. I don't need to go on Twitter just so people can keep telling me.

I would never cheat on Zayn, Not ever. 

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I glanced at the picture once more before ripping it to shreds and tossing it out the window. The cold breeze brushes my face as I watch the picture of Zayn and I fall to the streets then get run over by cars and trolleys.

Now he and I are truly over.

Why do feel like I still need him?

"No, I don't need him." I whispered to myself. Great now I'm talking to myself.

"Yes you do." Something inside me whispers.

"Shut up!" I screeched and pulled at my hair. My head is just going too fast for me to think.

Going into the bathroom, I let out a soft sigh. As I look into the mirror hung my head, staring down at my dirty porcelain sink. I'm so ugly. My shaky fingers open up the medicine cabinet from behind the mirror and grab a razor blade from the extra ones.

I have been self-harming ever since Zayn left. They are mostly on my legs. Sixty-three cuts in three months. None of them were deep though.

The pressure of writing music, the interviewers asking questions, it's all too much for me to handle. I can't take it anymore. This is my release.

I pulled the blade across my leg several times until I drew blood.

One cut.

Two cuts.

Seven cuts.

I just kept going until I began to get dizzy. I think I lost count at fifteen. Falling to the ground, all I could feel is blood running down my leg. I feel my head hit the cold hard tile floor. Maybe I'll die. Then I'll finally be happy.

"Perrie?!" I hear someone scream right before my vision goes black.

(A.N. Over there is the fabulous Perrie Edwards breaking down. Please comment and vote!!

I'm finally editing in 2017! It's going to take me a while though. ------------>)