Good Enough (Zerrie story)

Chapter Three

*Jade's POV*

Ow. Letting out a soft groan I rub my face. My head is killing me right now. I'm never drinking that much again. Don't lie to yourself Jadey, being drunk is the only time you can stand yourself. I needed it.

Or at least that's what my mind tells me. It helps me sleep. That's the latest excuse I suppose.

I haven't slept since that day.

Don't think about it Jade.

How can I not think about the fact that one of my best friends are in the hospital, limp and near death, because of me?

Holding my head in my hands as tears roll down my cheeks and everything comes rushing back in my mind.

I don't want it to but the memories flood in like a rushing river.

I did this. I'm the reason she did this.

It's my fault. My fault she cuts.

Jesy and Leigh probably hate me now. As if they didn't already. Bloody hell. I need a drink.

Using the side of my arm to wipe away my fresh tears, smearing my mascara I was wearing at the club last night.

I push myself up out of my bed and walk into the kitchen. Chewing my lip at the bottle of whiskey on the counter.

Never to early to start I guess.

Opening the fridge there's nothing but empty shelves, furrowing my eyebrows together in confusion.

A bottle and a bit of bread it is I guess.

Feeling the familiar shaking in my hands I grab my keys unsteadily. Fuck, hangover is really getting to me.

A round of several knocks at the door has me flinching in pain and glaring at the door.

Who would be here to see me?

Slowly, I open the door and my eyes widen. Leigh.

"Going somewhere Jade?" Leigh asks nodding to the keys in my hand. My eyes widen and I shake my head slowly, opening the door. Whatever hell Leigh is going to do, scream, yell, I'm ready for it. I deserve it.

"H-Hows Perrie?" I feel the dry words fall out of my mouth and they don't even sound like my own. Leigh's head snaps towards me and then sighs looking at the lonely bottle on the counter.

"She's barely alive. She's there, not awake but still there I suppose." Leigh clenches her jaw and I swear for a moment she looks like she is going to hit me.

"Oh, wait Leigh, what are you-" Before I can even formulate a proper sentence, Leigh grabs the bottle off of the counter, taking the top off and dumping it down the drain in one go.

"What the hell Leigh?! What's your problem?" I hiss and the anger blinds the pain in my head. Leigh crosses her arms.

"You. You are my problem Jade. And why the hell you did this to Perrie." Leigh starts and I bite my lip. I thought I could handle it but I can't​. Not with her.

Picking up my keys and begin to walk towards the front door when someone flicks on the lights. I let out a giant groan because, my chandelier is now on and it feels like someone just shook my entire brain in half.

"I'm sorry I had to do that Jade, but, you don't need anything. Besides for go back   to bed." Leigh-Anne says as I grab my head and cradle it like an injured child. Normally this wouldn't hurt this much but, I have low, medium, and high on my light. Unfortunately, I must have drunk a ton last night so, this hurts like hell.

Handing her my keys and she turns down the lights. Thank god. I send Leigh-Anne the meanest glare I can muster up and she sighs.

"You know I'm only helping Jade." I bite my lip and turn around so she can't see my face. I can literally feel the anger boiling up inside me.

Why can't she just accept that I am okay? I don't need her help. I don't need anyone's help. I don't have a problem. I can stop anytime I want.

No you can't.

"I don't need help. I need you to leave Leigh." I growl angrily. I don't want to push her away however, if she can't handle me being happy then that's her problem not mine. Looking out of the corner of my eye I see Leigh bite her lip and mess with her black glossy hair that is tied in a messy ponytail.

"You know you don't mean that. Now, come on. We are going to see Perrie tomorrow, big day." Perrie. Her voice of her, having a laugh with me before we went on stage that day flashes through my head then in a second it's gone.

Just like our friendship.

 Gone. We were more than friends to be honest, we were like sisters.

My closest friend hurt herself twenty-eight times because, of me.

I deserve everything. I deserve my sisters hating me now. Everything that happened is my fault.

I look over at Leigh-Anne with tears threatening​ to spill over. 

You signed a contract you can't say a word. I remind myself quickly before I say something I'll regret.

"Did...Did Perrie really hurt herself that many times because, of me?" I almost don't want to know the answer however, at the same time, I go another second not being sure.

Leigh-Anne bites her lip but then nods a slow painful nod. I rub my eyes though, not long after the tears come rolling down my face. Leigh quickly pulls me into a hug before I can refuse or push her away.

"Can you at least say why Jade? Why you did it?" I want to tell her everything. I want to just let everything in my head. 

You can't.

I remind myself again. I shake my head even though it hurts a lot and Leigh pulls away. 

She hates you to now Jade.

"Thank you." I say and my head pounds a bit. I'm thinking to much.

"For what?" Leigh asks and I bite my lip as I stumble numbly into the hallway.

"For not giving up on me."  I whisper quietly and walk slowly into my room. I don't know if Leigh-Anne heard me or not. Though, I'm not sure if I want her to.

(A.N. Please vote and comment what you think is going on with Jade! I want to hear your opinions on her, I haven't done her point of view yet in this story so, please tell me if you want more of Jade!)