White Rose - A Peter Pan Fanfiction

Chapter 5

I trudged through the jungle of Neverland, pathetically moping.

Not knowing who I truly was was a big enough problem and now I needed to deal with the worst of the worst: Peter Pan, who was willing to kill me without a second thought...just like James had said.

"None of it matters anymore," I said aloud to myself, gulping as I kicked a twig. I sighed, not knowing where my feet were taking me.

But not really caring, either.

And then I heard the breaking of a stick. Unsheathing my dagger, I held it in front of me, my eyes flickering about.

"Who's there?"

Silence, and for a moment, I thought I was imagining it: that's how much I was yearning for someone to care about me.

A man, probably middle twenties, black haired and unshaved appeared...and I was surprised at how similar our outfits were. "Who are you?"

But he looked just as confused as I, his eyes narrowing just a tad.

"Who are you?"

"I..." I trailed off and then sighed, sheathing my dagger and giving up. "Doesn't matter."

"If you're a girl and alive on Neverland, it does matter."

"I'm guessing you know Pan," I sneered, chuckling in amusement. "Well, he tried to kill me a few minutes ago so I suggest you keep your nose out –"

"Hang on, slow down, love," the man said, holding his hands up as he walked towards me. "You escaped?"

Shrugging, I replied with, "wasn't hard. He let me go."

The man looked completely baffled.

"I had some business to discuss with Pan and instead, ran into you," he started, twisting his lips. "How long have you been here, love?"

"Three days, if that," I mumbled, sighing again. This is getting useless.

And then the unexpected: he held out his hand.

"Killian, Killian Jones."

I reached out my own hand to take it but then a voice paused my movement, my eyes snapping to their direction.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Pan.

Clenching my jaw, I dropped my hand, never actually shaking the pirate's.

"What, you here to kill me again?"

"Point – never killed you the first time."

"You were going to."

"Alright, enough. You sound like baffling children," Killian said, standing between the two of us.

"Killian, leave us," Pan commanded, his eyes staring into the pirate's, burning ablaze his soul. I held my breath, Killian's gaze meeting mine as if to make sure I would be okay; I nodded once and then he walked out of the premise, leaving Pan and I alone.

I kept my jaw clenched, our gazes meeting and a thought hurt: he was beautiful to look at and yet it was torture to embody my soul with his.

A villain so evil to take away life in a blink of an eye, a boy yet completely a demon. Eyes that could burn and a touch that could destroy.

3 days – that's all it was and it was enough for me to read him, completely and honestly.

But the darkness that consumed him was not for me. I couldn't find the immorality within my heart to defend myself.

I dropped my gaze, swallowing in silence. The burden of knowing he was going to kill me sat heavy on my shoulders, weighing me down and clouding the possibilities – what possibilities? I didn't know but my life was of no value to him, to anyone on the island.

Pan took a step towards me and when I met his gaze again, coldness was all I saw. What did I expect? A touching apology?

Bull crap.

"You will go with Felix to town tomorrow morning. Be ready and dressed – and find a different...outfit."

"What's wrong with this?" I said, making a face; and he returned one of disgust.

"I don't like it."

"And because you don't like it, I can't?" I snapped and then he closed the gap between us, staring down at me like usual. He said one word, but he said it painfully slowly.

"Yes."

He clenched his jaw and turned on his heels, disappearing from view.

+++

I can't believe I actually got changed for that twat, I angrily thought to myself, now wearing a white blouse, a black corset, brown pants and boots, and a black cloak. I was pacing in my tent, waiting for Felix to pick me up.

At dinner the previous night, I got to know the lost boys a bit better but I could still feel the exclusion: I would never, truly, be one of them.

I was sitting beside James and Felix, of course, and I had asked where Daniel was: still in the cage, and to clarify that, I heard the echo of his screams that night.

Today, Felix and I were go into town and act as normal, peasant civilians. James had explained to me last night (at the dinner table) that, for a reason I didn't know, Pan was looking for the 'heart of the truest believer'...and my heart wasn't it. Instead, I was some sort of 'tracker' – it was the only explanation they had for the ripped parchment.

"There you are," I said, seeing Felix lift the tent's flap.

"Have you eaten?" he grumbled and I walked out, the two of us beginning to walk to the beach.

"I had an apple. I don't feel like eating anything else," I said with exhaustion, my stomach aching. It was true, but I guess I could have eaten a tad more.

"You have your dagger?" Felix said in a mono-tone pitch, like he didn't want to be stuck with me. To be honest, I didn't want to be stuck with him. I would much prefer James.

"Yes," I said. "I'm not a baby."

"I'm just making sure."

"You mean 'under orders'?"

Felix groaned and then stopped in his tracks, placing his finger below my neck.

"Be grateful he's letting you stay here instead of sending you to the echo caves until your purpose is brought to the surface," Felix sneered, his scar expanding as he spoke.

"I get told to be grateful of him quite frequently," I started, tilting my chin upwards. "Was I grateful when he ripped my heart out? No, so can it," I finished, slapping his hand away as we kept walking; Felix sighed and I sensed a change in the atmosphere.

"He doesn't think sometimes."

"You got that right."

"Serena." Felix stopped again and I rolled my eyes, taking a deep breath to calm myself. I just want to go to this stupid town and hurry up with Pan's business. I don't want to be lectured.

"If your existence depended on this heart that you had been searching for years," he started, genuinely looking into my eyes without a coldness for once. "You would have done the same to him if he had the heart."

"Actually, no, Felix," I said, gulping, admitting something I didn't necessarily want to. "If I had to kill Pan to save me, I wouldn't. You know why? Because he's still a person – all of the boys are, and you don't go around killing people."

I clenched my jaw and straightened my back, not ashamed: why would I? I spoke the truth. I spoke my mind.

And little did I know, Pan was listening.