↠leттerѕ ι never ѕenт↞

Letter 71

| September 25, 2016 |

Hot angry tears rush down my eyes and I repeatedly throw bricks in the front yard. I sit down and cry on the front porch. I let the tears fall as they trail down my wrists. I cry out in desperation.

The door opens, and it's you. "What's wrong?"

I frustratedly wipe some tears away with the backs of my hands.

"Why are you so angry?" You asked me.

I sit there and think to myself.
This is so embarrassing. Every time I cry and explode he's always there. He always has to come after me, it must be tiring. He deserves so much better than this.

So instead of telling you why I was mad, my stubborn ass said,

"I don't want to talk about it, leave me alone."

And I left you there in the rain.
After I left I immediately regretted it. I shouldn't have done that to you. You didn't do anything wrong, you were just trying to be there for me and I just pushed you away.

So I went into my bedroom and told you to come here.
You probably thought I was mad at you.

I honestly don't know why you haven't gave up on me and left me yet, because the rest of them already have. I'm full of anxiety and uncomfortable stress, I constantly go on long rambles that head nowhere. But here you are.

I told you "I wasn't mad at you". You smiled at me and pulled me in and hugged me as we stood in silence.

You're always there. You're kind. You listen. You don't always get it, but you respect it. And that's all I can really ask for out of anyone.