Isomnia is the worst. Not only do you feel extremely tired, but no matter how hard you try you can't sleep. You're brain won't shut off, or shut up. You end up laying in bed with thoughts roaming through your brain; sometimes in groups ranging from 2 to 20.
Some thoughts are random, while others are maddening. Questioning the essence of existence as you wish you could just sleep. Even if only for an hour. Questioning yourself, your life, making you feel lonely as you ly awake in the dark.
I know that on my sleepless nights, I always feel lonely. I question what I'm doing with my life. I only have this one chance and I could be living terribly wrong. And I too boring of a person? Do I really have no personality? Am I just, there? Lately I've felt invisible and the monster called insomnia decides that that is a most excellent topic. A topic that makes me second guess everything in my life.
Have I been too naive? Are my friends just there to use me? I really hope not, but with the turn of events that has happened as of late I can't be quite certain. Maybe I've fallen into a sick game that I will never be able to claw my way out of. These thoughts are maddening. Life is just one big game isn't it? And in the end, it's hard to tell if you won.
And so, I am stuck in this weird void between being awake and asleep. Left to wander through the darkest parts of my thoughts.
Obviously, this was written at 1:00 am, because only an isomnia ridden mind would be able to somewhat organize the jumbled thoughts. So many thoughts...
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Revelations, Rants, and Other Ramblings
PoetryThe thoughts of a high schooler that can't seem to deal with life in a healthy way. Poems about everything and nothing, and feelings that have to get out but would be best unsaid.
