Troyler AU - Uncuff Me

sixteen

It was as though he was watching the memories of his past through a telescope. The distance was like lightyears away and yet he could still see every detail in every frame so clearly, they robbed the breaths out of his lungs. Each solemn look continued to gut his insides and each howling cry was a stab to his bleeding heart. He had grieved as passionately as he had loved, and the burden he carried on his shoulders was as heavy then as it was now.

That Friday had been a complete surprise to him. The day started off pretty abruptly, when Tyler had popped by the loft at five o'clock in the morning, ever so ready to drag him out of his warm bed. As bewildered and reluctant as he was, he didn't think it was such a bad idea to just give in to Tyler's rude wake up call. The reason was simple; for all the time they'd spent together, he had known that Tyler was always prepared, and he knew that Tyler would have came to rouse him from his sleep with some pretty convincing incentives. Which, of course, in Troye's world, the incentives meant a cup of properly brewed coffee from his favourite deli down the street and the freshly baked, just-out-of-the-oven chocolate Danish.

And true enough, the mix of aromas of the coffee and the pastry perfumed the air abundantly. It was one of his favourite scent to wake up to, and it always cleared the haze of sleep from his head. That, and coupled with the little kisses Tyler doused all over his face. They always did it for him.

He had realised it for quite some time now, his feelings for this man. The fluttering butterflies in his stomach whenever they touched, the strong urge to steal distracting kisses from those chapped lips when he was bored, and the giggles that threatened to spill from his mouth when they wake up together in the morning, limbs tangled up with each other. For some masochistic reason, he had allowed himself to feel more than he should, had allowed it to grow until it fills up the void that was his heart. And on that Friday, the feeling threatens to overflow and suffocate him in the sweetest way possible.

It was perfect. Tyler was perfect. After Troye had dressed in his skinny jeans, a white t-shirt and a red varsity jacket that he'd bought from a vintage store downtown, Tyler had dragged him to Central Park before the first light of the sun burst through the horizon. Fingers intertwined, they swung their arms lightly in between them as they strolled towards a bench overlooking the lake and sat, basking in the tranquility of their surrounding. They sat in the cold for almost an hour, cuddling closely together on the park bench while sipping the cups of steaming coffee clasped tightly in their respective hands, and they waited patiently for the first sign of light to irradiate the park.

The sunrise, it was a sight of unearthly beauty. The long wait in the cold was every bit the worth, as the stream of orange slowly eclipsing the grey, lifting the curtain of darkness so effortlessly. It was a pristine moment, one that was absolute and encouraging, one that called out to him to loosen the deathly grip on his restraints, his inhibitions, and ultimately his fears. It was a moment when the urge was to let this beautiful man into his life like he had into his heart. But he was torn. His heart desired the things that his brain couldn't allow. He wanted to be spoilt by this man, to get drunk by his love, to confess his deepest regret and fear but the hush whispers in the back of his mind told him that he couldn't, not when he knew the danger awaiting down this path.

So instead, he just feel. He had allowed himself to indulge in the possibility, a brief escape from his reality and delight in the bubble of bliss that pulls the warmth from deep within him. And just in that moment, everything else ceased to exist, for Tyler is the only thing that he needs.

And then later that night, there was a moment when Tyler was connected so deep in him, he felt it again. The love that Tyler put into his thrusts, he felt it to the very core of his bones and it frightened him immensely. He wanted very much to reach out and capture the it with both hands and never let it go, but the grip of fear kept pulling him back. The moment was getting all too intense and Troye pulled the switch and stopped the current of tenderness that was thrumming from Tyler to him. He recoiled, hard, and reverted back to the shameless slut that he had portrayed so flawlessly.