All This Time

DELETED SCENE: Wolf's POV from Chapter 19 (Part 1)

"Graeme."

I stand in the doorway, leaning my shoulder against the wooden arch until she's forced to look at me, eyes red-rimmed. Her delicate swan-neck is strained, cords of her throat taut and straight. 

"Wolf," she murmurs, casting her eyes back at her lap. "Sorry. I know I shouldn't be in here."

I can't deny her anything, so instead I move silently through my bedroom to sit next to her. Graeme looks beautiful even when she's upset. Her cheeks don't erupt in patchy redness and her eyes don't swell shut from tears. She looks like a tragic Shakespearean heroine, eyes bright and wild, radiating control even when in the throes of agony.

"Dad doesn't talk to me—even about me—with half as much warmth as he talks to her."

There's no mistaking who the her is in this scenario. Charlotte. The girl who has been occupying my thoughts off and on ever since she arrived in our winter wonderland. I wonder if she has any idea how far down the rabbit hole she's gone.

It's something he's always done, pitting people against each other to see what makes them tick, to see how far he can push them, to nudge pieces left and right on his chessboard until there's just one queen left. And his children? Fallen pawns. Acceptable losses.

I know why she came to my room. It's what she's done ever since she was a little girl. The van der Waals children learned fast that they were stronger together, I thought grimly as I covered my sister's hand with my own, folding the fingers into a fist.

Marcus eventually learned that he couldn't force us to see each other as competitors—I'm proud there's one child I can be proud of academically, Wolfram. What has your mother done to that sister of yours to make her so vapid?—but with Charlotte's presence, he was able to needle Graeme into a response with just a few well-placed sentences.

"I thought Levi was bad enough," says Graeme, swiping at her eyes with her free hand. "He's replaced his disappointing children with better models," she says, words choking on a bubbly laugh-sob.

"Don't be an idiot." I nudge her shoulder with my own, "You know they're pawns, too."

"Are they, though?" Graeme looks up at me from wet, spiky lashes. "I mean, why bring Levi here at all? Why fawn on that...that opportunist?"

Again, there is no mistaking who she is talking about. "Charlotte was a bonus he didn't expect. He's using her to get a rise out of you," I tell her firmly. "And Levi is some misguided, fucking pitiful attempt at trying to be a good father."

"Ha!" Graeme's voice cracks.

"Let's go back down." I release her hand and start to stand up, but she leans into me, laying her head on my shoulder, still sniffling like a child. "Graeme," I begin to say, then sigh, giving up. When she gets into one of her Marcus-induced self-pitying moods, there's only one thing to do - indulge her.

"There's something weird going on between her and Xander," she says, breaking the silence with another theory about Charlotte.

"They're just friends." I keep stroking her hair until I feel her trembling subside. "She's a good person, she's not taking advantage of him. There's nothing going on with them."

I admit I had my own reservations about my best friend's best friend, but after spending time with her and carefully scrutinizing her interactions with Xander, I'm chagrined that I was wrong about her. She wasn't using Xander for any kind of financial or social gain - she genuinely liked him. She'd been right to call me on my bullshit - it was hard for me to see true friendship in others when I lacked it myself.

Graeme tugs her head away, eyes narrowed in accusation. "I hear that tone," she says, voice scandalized.

"What tone?"

Her voice rises an octave. "Not you, too!"

I gape at her, flummoxed.

She throws herself into a standing position, teetering a little before she regains her balance. "Wolf, I can't believe you're into her!"

I give my head a rueful shake. "Graeme..."

"Did you see the way Dad was fawning all over her? It was disgusting. She was flirting with him."

"She wasn't," I say with staunch firmness.

"And she has Humphries wrapped around her finger, too! Did you notice she gave him a present only when we were ALL there to witness Saint Charlotte dole out holiday joy?" Graeme makes a rude noise in the back of her throat and keeps talking before I have a chance to say a word. 

"And," she adds with a meaningful pause, "she just broke up with her boyfriend. She's using you, Wolf. Just like Diana." Graeme's shakes her head like she feels sorry for me and my obvious naivety. "She was dating Steven Albright before. She's friends with Xander. You think it's a coincidence that she surrounds herself with wealthy guys?" Her voice is scathing, and my neck prickles, because she's just reviving all the unpleasant thoughts I'd had about Charlotte.

Graeme wrings her hands, pacing up and down in front of me, dragging her feet into expensive carpet. "She's exactly like Diana. She asked for both your number and Levi's in the car. You're my brother. I'm just looking out for you. She's so transparent! She basically announced how single she was with her woe-is-me-I-got-cheated-on story."

I don't want to hear this. This is a girl I've kissed, said honest things to, laughed with. I don't want to be turned against her, but I can already feel that I am. Graeme and I have history in a way that goes beyond whatever I have with Charlotte. I owe Graeme my loyalty, my trust. We've had each other's backs long before Charlotte arrived and even after our visitor becomes nothing but a figment in my memory, an anecdote to drag out when we're feeling particularly nostalgic, Graeme and I will continue to have each other's backs. Some relationships stand the test of time - some don't.

"Enough." My voice comes out stronger than I feel. I swallow.

"Don't tell me that she's got you wrapped around her finger, too. Jesus, Wolf."

The only way to end this is to agree with her. "Even if she is using me, she's going to be gone soon," I say. "She's made a few socially advantageous connections, yes, and she's attractive, but I'm not about to propose to her over a fling, Graeme. Besides, you were the one who asked me to be a little nicer to her."

"Only because I thought Xander would like me more if it looked like we were making an effort!" Graeme throws her hands in the air, muttering something under her breath that sounds like When did this become so complicated?

I'd love an answer to that, too.

"Enough, Graeme. She's our guest and she's been nice to us so far," I snap, remembering the ways in which she defended Graeme against Diana's poisonous tongue. "Don't jump to conclusions."

Graeme opens her mouth as if to argue, then snaps it shut as she seems to realize the door is still open. I never shut it behind me, and I see alarm flash over her face as she moves to close it. "Wolf, why didn't you close the door? Ugh, the last thing I need is for..."

By the way her sentence trails off, going from irritation to horror, I feel the precursor of shame dip in my stomach, curling in my abdomen with painful precision. Charlotte.

The object of her cattiness is right in front of her, a wrapped gift in her hand. She looks stunned, looking at me like she doesn't know who I am. And then, with an ease I hadn't believed her capable of, she shuts it off. Her round eyes lose their guileless friendliness, replaced with a frigid kind of acceptance. 

I want to say her name, want to tell her she misunderstood, but it's too late. She's been with us too long and she's learned to wear a mask, too. I want the old Charlotte back. Not this composed, gracious woman in front of me.

HI GUYS, this was the second deleted scene! I hope you liked this bonus chapter :) Have a brilliant FriYAY :) 

dedicated to kathrwest for suggesting this deleted scene :)