Tick list

Part 7

When i woke up, it was dark.  I checked my phone and it read 3:34 a.m, god was it really that early? I scrolled through my phone and decided to see who was awake and as i began to scroll i got a text

Matthew - you awake? Sent 1h ago

Reply - yeah  Sent. Delivered. Read.

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Jesus, what the hell was he sending? A fucking novel?
Typing

Matthew - okay
sent.

What was that about? Did he want something? How the hell did he even get my number?
Ugh.

All of a sudden there was a tap on my window and there he was. He was bent over on his knees as though he was in pain, he lifted his face and i saw everything.

"O my god!!" I jumped out of bed and ran over and opened it as i helped him through. He made an effort not to break anything and climbed in slowly, but the second he got in through the window he collapsed onto the ground with a loud grunt.

"What the actual-"

"I ran...into...some guys....who.....where friends....with that douche bag.....who tried it on you..." He said with gritted teeth. He panted between each word but i got what he said.
He groaned through his lips

I helped him up and slowly put him up onto my bed. I sat him up and tried to make him as comfortable as possible. He began to doze off

"Hey. Hey look at me" i put my hand on his cheek. he opened his big brown eyes and looked right into mine. We looked at each other, faces cm's apart, but i broke the silence.

"I'm going to get some stuff from downstairs okay? Just stay here" i whispered so not to wake up my dad

"Okay, w-w-wait, go into my pocket" his hands held onto a gash he had on his stomach

"Yeah sure" i rushed over and reached in. I grabbed a small box which i took out. Cigarettes. Really?

"Oh c'mon dude, you need bandages not cigarettes" 
He of course ignored me

"My lighters in my other pocket" he demanded

"No, you can't smoke in here"

"Listen Iv, i'll get it myself and it'll just cause me more pain. Whats it gonna be?" He knew exactly what he was doing.

"Fine" i reached in and got closer to his face as i made a disgruntled look. He winked at me.
I sparked the lighter as I brought it up to the cigarette hanging from in between his lips. I watched as he dragged in and rested his head back and exhaled
"Thanks Iv"
I knelt over him trying to take a look at his face for anything serious.
"I'm gonna get some stuff for those bruises" just, stay here. Okay?

His smile faded  and his eyes shut and his head thudded under my chin. What did i do?
I was knelt in front of him on my bed and he had fallen in a pretty awkward position. I put my hands either side of his head and slowly leaned forward so that his body weight tipped backwards onto the pillow behind me.

After getting him into a comfortable position, i went downstairs and grabbed a first aid kit and some water and a bottle of vodka as a disinfectant for his cuts, and headed back up.

He was still sleeping from what i could see, so i went over there and turned on my bedside light. I dunked the cloth in some vodka and  began to wash away the blood on his face. He flinched instantly
"Shhhhd, it's okay"
When i was done i began to apply butterfly stitches on a cut above his left brow, his eyes began to open. I was too concentrated to look at him in the eyes so i smiled and continued to slowly apply the stitches
"Hi" I whispered
"Are you hungry?" I asked him. He smiled back at me

"I'm really not" even in his state of confusion and pain he was still a cocky shit.
"But i'll take some of that" he reached for the vodka
"It's for your face but go right ahead" he took a big gulp and handed me the bottle, i decided to do same. He watched with a smile

he finally seemed in a pretty decent state, although he was still a little too weak to walk.

"So what happened?" I asked as i sat cross legged next to him.  i realised that he hadn't given me an explanation

"Well you know when i left the house? I took a walk to just clear my head and i found myself going on a train to Stately, turns out him and his gang hang around there. He saw me and recognised me. Well it was 1 against 6 so you can imagine from the state of me what went down"
He dropped his head and took his hand through his hair again. He always did that.

"I bet they look worse" i said with a smile. But i felt terrible.

This was my fault. How did i let this happen?

"Fuck" i closed my eyes as they began to sting.

"This wasn't on you. I left you there so i'm taking the blame, so don't feel bad"

No matter what he said i still felt like shit. There was a silence for a while, you could hear everything. His breath was wheezy, I wasn't surprised due to the punches his stomach took.

"I took away your blade when you went downstairs. So you can't do any stupid shit" he didn't look at me

"It's bullshit that you'd even consider doing something like that, what's so bad in your life that you need to hurt yourself, believe me you could have it a lot worse" he blurted out.

What the hell was he trying at?

"What?" The water in my eyes were becoming harder to control, as tears rolled down my cheek. He realised and began to shuffle around as he clearly became uncomfortable

"I'm just saying, it's stupid for you to think that you need to do that. You underestimate yourself -"

"Get out" i whispered. My hair dangling down my face, i hid the tears and the bloodshot eyes.

"Just get out." I stood up and opened the door to my bedroom and stood by opening.

He stood up, and slowly made his way to the door

"Just remember what i said. Don't be weak, you're better than that, i know you are, you're incredible...."

He took a step closer, my heart racing

"I just wish you knew it yourself"

he placed his hand under my chin and lifted my head. I looked at the ground as a tear fell to the floor

"Look at me" he demanded. I slowly raised my vision to look at his cut face and bruised lip. He held my waist and pulled me in.

His face got closer, every fragment of my body urging me to lean in but for the sake of my own morals, i backed away. His hand slipped from my face and i lowered my gaze once again.

We stood there for at least 10 minutes. Before he slipped out. I didn't really hear him going, i just looked up after 10 minutes and he was gone. I went back into my bed and tried to forget about everything.

it would be clearer in the morning, because at the moment i was feeling torn.