Surviving

Chapter Four

Peridot
I want to say that when I got home everything went fine. But I can't. My mom was beyond pissed. It wasn't like I hadn't done this before either. Even now I still don't understand exactly what had set her off. All I know that it had started off as a simple scolding and then escalated into something else entirely. She loses her temper pretty easily and usually takes it as a chance to criticize me. I know it's just because she's mad and doesn't have a filter but it still hurts. I still cry.

Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, we actually have a pretty healthy relationship when she's not mad. In all honesty it's partly my fault. I should open up more then I do. I think it upsets her that I don't talk to her.

Either way it's over now. It's in the past. I still feel pretty shitty but I had to focus on my homework now. I forgot about it yesterday and now I'm cramming to get it done before I have to go to school. Thankfully it's geometry, something I can do quickly, and with any luck get it finished before my mom catches me and tells me I should have done it last night, as if that was actually going to work.

Like I'm just gonna say "Oh yeah Mom, it was wrong for me to procrastinate, I'll just never make a mistake again. That sounds doable." Especially when I'm sitting here at 5:30 doing math and ready to strangle someone.

I was finishing up the last question when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I panicked at first and shoved my homework into my backpack only to realize the footsteps were too heavy to be my mom's. I let out a small sigh of relief as my dad came down the stairs. The most I'd get from him if he saw I forgot to do my homework was a slight look of disapproval. I'd take that over a lecture any day. I waved to him and went to get a granola bar from the pantry.

"How was your week?" He asked in between bites of the apple he'd picked up.

"Fine." I replied, the same answer I gave every time I was asked this.

He took a few more bites before giving me 'that' look. You know, the one that says "I'm not mad I'm just disappointed". I got that look a lot from him. "Your mom told me how you've been acting."

He sounded exhausted. I couldn't help but feel bad, but I've always been stubborn. I sat there eating my breakfast without any hint at a reply.

He spoke again, "You know it's hard on her, she doesn't mean what she says. Don't be too hard on her."

I knew he was talking about mom. I knew exactly what he was talking about. My dad.. he travels a lot. I mean, were fine, I don't need pity or "I'm so sorry" or anything like it. We're doing ok. Everyone has their problems and you just have to deal with it. That said, he's right. Everything was good when dad was home, but my mom gets so stressed when he's gone. She yells easier, and I yell when she yells. Needless to say it doesn't end well.

We fight. Not physically, just a few harsh words. Not unusual actually, according to studies most teens fight with their parents.

I nodded, eyes fixed on the floor. I muttered something almost inaudible along the lines of "I know."

He nodded and turned to go get ready for work but I stopped him before. "Are you leaving again."

He sighed, "Yea.. tomorrow afternoon. Sorry, Per.."

"It's ok." I lied, it really wasn't, not when he'd only just gotten back, but there was no need making a big deal out of it. He can't control it, "I understand."

"I'll be back in a few weeks."

"I'll try not to fight with mom.." I said. I had learned a long time ago that if I let my pride get in the way of talking to my dad I would regret it. If I don't say something in the moment I probably won't get another chance.

"Thank you. Really. It's good to know I can leave you alone and not come back to a burned down house."

I laughed. It felt nice to smile genuinely, with the stress of school it didn't happen as much anymore. I would of kept talking–there was a lot to say– but when I saw the time I noticed that I had to leave, I definitely didn't want to miss the bus, even if it meant cutting the conversation short.

"I gotta go." I said.

"See ya later, Per." He replied.

Then I left of course, and waited for my bus.

******

The rest of the day went on as usual. Now that Lapis and I had been introduced she was starting to notice me more, so it was more difficult to hide my observations from her. She'd glance at me at random times and I'd have to act like I hadn't been staring at her. Normally it'd irritate me but it was hard when I knew she was related to Maggie. It was still hard to believe I'd never known she'd had a daughter, the women was like a second mother to me, I'd met her son once or twice even. In a small town like this there's always that one couple who knows everyone. That was Maddie and her family. Even I like her and I don't like anyone.

I actually rode the bus home, hoping it'd make my dads day a bit easier. The kid behind me was playing shitty music the entire ride, and of course, I'm the second to last stop.

Just my luck.

When I finally did get to my stop I gathered my belongings and made my way through the cramped isle, down the steps, and onto the side walk.

Outside it was one of those days that just automatically made you happy. There was a slight breeze but it was warm enough that it cooled you off just enough. There were a few leaves drifting around as well, which although I couldn't explain why, made everything that much better.

For once in my life I was actually enjoying being outdoors, and trust me, that didn't happen often.

When I stepped through the front door of my house I saw both my parents in the kitchen, talking, laughing. My mother looked at me and smiled. "How was your day, Peridot?" She asked, this time she meant it though. I don't know how I knew, I could just tell. She actually cared and wanted to know.

As crazy as it sounds, that one gesture was enough to make me wanna cry. I missed this. The days my mom was genuinely happy, and my dad was actually around. She would make home cooked meals instead of leaving fast food out for me, not even bothering to eat with me. I never realized how nice it is until it's happening.

"Great." I said, instead of just the usual 'fine'. I walked into the kitchen, joining in on the conversation they had been having.