I Can Be Somebody

VI.

I wake up to the light in my eyes, I pick up my phone from the ground and check my clock 8:46 am. I try to get up but I can't, Martijn is huging me with both arms knot around my waist.

-Martijn-. I say poking his face.

-Hmm?-. His eyes are still closed, I try to get out his arms again but it was a fail.

-Babe wake up!-. I say goving him kisses all over his face. He opens his eyes immediatly and turns me around, He is now over me with his hands next my hy head.

-What did you say?-. His eyes are looking down at mine.

-I said to wake up-. He smirks at my response.

-You called me babe-. I laugh, I knew I called him babe but of course I wasn't going to admit it.

-No I didn't-. I say looking into his eyes.

-Yes you did, I heard you clearly-. I try to look away but Martijn's hand was holding my face.

-Say it again-. He says looking down at me and leaning to my neck kissing it. I can't avoid how good it felt, Martijn started moving the kiss down to my chest. I moan as I feel his warm lips touch my sensitive skin.

-Ba-Babe-. I say moaning. He stops kissing me and gets of the bed.

-What was that?-. I say sitting up straight and looking at Martijn while he puts some underwear and pants on.

-What was what?-.

-The thing you just did?-. He sits next to and starts kissing me on the neck again.

-This?-. He kisses my neck slowly, sucking on it.

-Mart-Martijn Stop!-. I push him away, he looks at me confused. I sigh and inhale taking a deep breathe ready to talk.

-Martijn what are we?-. He has his hand on the back of his head looking everywhere but me.

-Were dating-.

-Are we?-. His eyes are in blank, I can't see any expression in his face or eyes. I get up the bed and get dressed quickly. I knew he didn't want me as his girlfriend.

While I'm changing Martijn has come closer to me making my eyes water, I look back at him and he is standing right infront of me.

-Cindy, I like you a lot, I think I love you but I don't want to be in a relationship, Soon I'll be traveling and I won't have any time to see you, I don't want you to get hurt because of me.- He was right, Martijn was a famous Dj and would be traveling all over the world parting and giging.

-I understand-. Well I'm already hurt because of him. I walk out the apartment not knowing if I was going to ever see him again. Some tears come out as I walk into my car, Why did I feel so bad when he told me that. I drive out the buildings parking lot and drive to my house. At that time I just remembered I had slept at Martijn's place and my parents would be really angry at me but I don't care I just needed some time to think.

-Where were you?-. I hear my mother say in the kitchen. I don't want to talk to anyone right now, I walk up the stairs and lock myself in my room.

(...)

I get a text from Sarah, I totally forgot about her, she left with Julian after we were at that party.

Sarah: Need to talk. See you in 5 min.

We sure needed to talk, she knew I liked Martijn a lot, before I get up to take a quick hot shower I hear my phone ringing. It was Joshua, we haven't talked, I missed him a lot, he was like a brother to me even though he never saw me like that.