Living With Reality

Chapter 4

When I woke up, I realized it was Saturday. The sun was just rising so I checked the time.

6:37am.

Wow. I thought. I can't even get any sleep. They're all still on my mind. I'm making up my mind today. I can't live a life liking more than one person. It makes me feel like Jake. 

And that's how I realized that Jake was out of the competition. There was no way I was going back to a cheater. I was never happy with him and I never will be. Now I'm stuck with choosing between DeAndre and Lucas. Crap.

***

After eating at least four bowls of cereal and doing things I normally do on a Saturday morning, I went to go take a shower. The water felt good on my skin. It was warm. 

That made me think of DeAndre. I loved his touch. It affected me so much. If he touched my arm on an accident when he was walking beside me in the hallway, I'd always close my eyes and smile. Why can't I have this every day? I think to myself.

DeAndre cared. Or at least he acted like he cared. That's all I asked for. That's all I wanted. I didn't care if he was faking or not. He made me think someone cared for me. 

I realized what had happened last night. In my mind, just a few hours ago, I had a dream of DeAndre and Lucas in the dream. Together.

I was walking in school when I heard someone yell. I look back to see DeAndre hitting Lucas repeatedly in the face. I ran up to him and started yelling for him to stop. He then looked back and called me a dumb ass for getting into this. He reached back and punched me in my jaw. I took a few steps back, holding my jaw. It didn't feel right at all. Something was broken, or cracked, or something. Lucas just lay on the ground with his eyes wide. DeAndre just looked at me and shrugged. With that, he walked off. Everyone was looking at me and people were whispering together. I went after him and jumped him–punching him as hard as I could.

"What the hell are you doing?" he yells. 

"You fucking punched me you asshole." I snap.

"You shouldn't have gotten into that!"

"Bloody hell DeAndre!"

"What?"

"I freaking hate you!"

"Mon ange, I'm sorry."

My eyes went wide. French? "No. I'm not your 'angel'."

"Ma belle. I didn't mean to hurt you"

"I'm not your 'beautiful' either. Don't talk to me again. You didn't have any right to hit me. You're a man. You aren't allowed to touch me you bitch."

I got up and went back to what I was doing. At the same time I was wondering where DeAndre learned French. I passed the hallway where the fight took place. Lucas was getting up and saw me walk past him. 

"Hey Lanaeyah," he said looking down. "Does it hurt?"

"Does what hurt?" I asked curiously.

"Your jaw. What else?"

I had forgotten about my jaw cracking. I was too busy being upset with DeAndre.

"Oh. Yeah, I'm fine." 

"Okay, good."  he smiled. Lucas was nice when no one else was around to witness it.

When he walked off, I turned around. DeAndre was leaning against the wall. He was smirking at me dangerously. I rolled my eyes and went the other way. As I tried to walk faster, a hand grabbed me. DeAndre. He twisted me around to him. Our faces were inches apart. 

"What do you want, De?" I asked annoyed.

"What do you think?"

"Sorry, but I don't want to have sex with you at school."

"So you're saying you'll do it at my house?" 

I blushed. "No!"

"I want a kiss, baby." he said grinning.

"What?!" my cheeks turned beet red.

"You heard me hun." 

"In your dreams. You literally just punched me and I'm pretty sure you broke something, and now you're asking for a kiss?"

"I'm not asking."

"You pervert. I'm not kissing you."

"Suit yourself." 

"You-" I was cut off by his lips being thrown onto mine. His lips were amazing. They knew how to pleasure a girl. They knew how to pleasure me. 

I responded to the kiss. I kissed him back with the same amount of desperation. I wanted him. 

His hands moved down my back to my thighs and I let out a soft moan. He started to lift my shirt, but I was interrupted.

I woke up.

Coming back to the real world, I groaned with frustration. 

How come when something good is about to happen, my dream ends? Why can't I feel him in reality?

I found a pillow laying on the couch. I sat down beside it and hugged it. If only DeAndre were with me right now.

Once I let go of the pillow, I went back to my room. I turned on the TV and leaned back on my headboard. DeAndre was the only one on my mind. Lucas was somewhere in my thoughts, but I couldn't find him. I didn't care. DeAndre kissed me. Even if it was a dream, I loved it. It felt real. It felt like he wanted me. 

I wonder if he does.