broken satire - f.weasley

2 / Broma

"Alice, do you happen to like anyone?"

Alice Colden's mother asked cheekily, stirring the spaghetti sauce that boiled on the stove. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Mum, come on. You've only asked this a million times. You know school is more of a priority," Alice replied, sitting down at the kitchen table next to her father who was reading a magazine. He looked up at Alice and grinned.

"That's what I like to hear."

"Hush, you. Alice, would you set the table?" Alice nodded and followed her mother's request.

"And besides," Alice started as she got plates from the cabinet. "It's not like there's anyone even that cute."

"Well, you never know. Your mother was quite the doll when we were there," Mr. Colden smirked as his wife blushed and set the pot of spaghetti on the table.

"Trust me. There's nobody in Ravenclaw that's pleasing to look at. I don't know about who's in the other houses, honestly," Alice said, filling her plate with food.

"Oh, I'm sure there'll be someone, Alice," Mrs. Colden reassured.

"There better not be," Mr. Colden said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, knock it off, David," Alice's mother hardly scolded.

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"Super glad you could come over," Bonnie Smith, Alice's best friend since first year, spoke as she quickly shut her bedroom door.

"So am I. Mum was bugging me about if I fancied anyone again," Alice sat down on Bonnie's bed, which had been covered by a blanket that featured the Ravenclaw crest made by Bonnie's grandmother.

"Aww, how peak. What did you tell her this time? All the boys have dicks the size of your patience?"

"Really hilarious, there. I just said the same as usual. 'School is more important, mum.' That kind of thing."

"Well it is, isn't it?"

Alice shifted in her spot, debating. "Well, I mean, yeah it is. It's not like she doesn't know that about me. But ever since she found those letters we'd been writing to each other about...him...my mum thinks I'm up to no good."

"I see," Bonnie nodded solemnly, knowing she would be unable to stop Alice's mother's bickering. Alice snorted.

"Well of course you see, you've got two perfectly working eyes," Alice poked at Bonnie.

"Oh, sod off, you bug," Bonnie joked back at Alice, who had now layed down on the bed, her eyes focused intently on the ceiling.

"So you still like him?"

"Hmph?" Alice tilted her head up at the blonde haired girl, a playful grin stuck on her face.

"Do you still like...y'know," Bonnie lifted her eyebrows up and down. Alice laughed.

"Oh. Him. Yeah, well, I'd say so, yeah? I just don't think he'll like me back, is all. Kinda bums me out. But I do suppose I still like him," Alice picked at the blue polish on her finger nails.

"Oh I think he could like you," Bonnie nodded, giving a stern look to Alice. Alice gave a weak smile and shook her head.

"No, I don't think so. I don't think he'd fancy a Ravenclaw. Not with his behaviour so opposite of the stereotype Ravenclaws."

"That's where I think you're wrong. I think you're the exact type of girl he's bound to go after."

"Right, and McGonagall's bound to go after Snape," Alice rolled her eyes. "Bonnie, don't be ridiculous. That's so stupid," she sighed and sat back up. Bonnie had a wide grin that seemed to stretch to both sides of her face.

"It isn't stupid! When have I been wrong about something like this?"

"I could name a few times," Alice said without hesitation. Bonnie waved her hands, dismissing the claim.

"Listen up, you, we're gonna get that stinking kid to like you so bloody much that it actually hurts him. Wait, no...on second thought. We're gonna get this kid to absolutely,
love you."
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•hey look i updated this
•you're welcome now don't bother me to update for another month :-)
~brizzi

{edit:
okay guys go follow Iemusrupin bc that's my like other acc. i made which i'll probably make like a rant book on there or something so go follow it thanks :-)