These thoughts keep coming back it hurts no matter how many pills I take when will it stop when will some one listen these demons keep coming back and forth they find a way in and I don't know how to keep them out they told me I needed to do it some people tell me I shouldn't but I do don't worry take some of the pain goes away but it doesn't really go away it just subsidies for a little bit I don't know how to do this anymore but it keeps getting worse you know the one person I really love doesn't even want anything to do with me right now I'm honestly so hurt I don't know how to do this I'm just trying right now I really need somebody to talk to you but instead I'm sitting here trying to write a book because I have nothing else maybe if I write out everything that's going on it will stop hurting make me if I just let everything out it will stop I don't know I have been battling with constant fighting with me and my grandparents I feel like it's getting worse between them and it's not getting any better for me because now she's just letting out her anger on me but I don't know how to take care of it how to stop it and she keeps calling me names and putting me down I don't want to be put down on for what I'm doing right in the world doesn't feel like I'm doing anything right anymore and I'm losing my friends because I got enough people that's been spreading rumors about everybody and my friend he's just he's not wanting to do anything anymore like he got a new job I'm really happy for him I really am put on a smile for him and I make him know that I'm happy for you and he comes home to me and I'm emotional because of everything that's going on my mom is just starting to get back in my life and then she was gone for another week and I don't know if that's the same way just me right now and he can't sit there and tell me that he loves me and that he wants to sit here and listen what's going on yeah he asked me but I don't tell him the first time but he doesn't keep asking me when he knows I'm here he knows I'm a sensitive person and I am very sensitive I told her to say it but I wish I wasn't because this would be a lot if I wasn't so sensitive I just really wish something would go right for once I wish you would just listen to me I wish you would just say you're with me and be here with me no matter what I wish we would talk to each other more I wish everything would just be better and not have to worry about us doing anything wrong I want to be with him the rest of my life I do but I also want to talk to and if I can't talk to him then are we going to stay together honestly I just want to talk more I want to know what's going on with him this new job and this is for there's been saying things that he's not being nice to them and he's kind of being an a****** to them but I don't think you would be an awesome me but not why I'm starting to see and I wish he even just sit here and be like listen babe I know since going on with you and I know you really need to talk about it but I don't know how to help you but no one said he told me I need to suck it up and get over it I can't just suck it up and get over it okay I'm sorry if you see this but maybe you can take something into consideration and see that I'm actually hurting and I'm actually considering doing things that I shouldn't be doing good because that's what I started doing before you came into my life and you actually came into my life and you helped me so please don't go again and please don't start doing this to me again I can't lose you again and I can start doing this stuff again because if I do this stuff it's not going to end well maybe now you'll listen💀💀
