This Is How It Ends {MiniZerk Au}

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Small claps filled the room as Josh headed down the stage at the funeral, watery tears leaking down his face and falling just as fast as he was.

He held the speech in his hand before he crumpled it up, the tears making the ink on the paper get runny and making it overall useless to read. After all, he did just spend more time then he wanted spilling out his soul to an audience while his lover lays still in the corner, his heart still. He didn't want to see the speech even if the tears hasn't leaked through the paper and tore away the words he spent months writing.

He sat down as the next person said their goodbyes, although it was all just a blur to him. This whole thing was useless now, he finished what he had came for.

He glanced over at the casket, it's lid open and wide although he hasn't had the stomach to look inside all day. He didn't want it to be true, he didn't want it see Simons pale form inside the prison of wood the blonde would be stuck in forever. He didn't want to see what he could have saved, but didn't.

He didn't want to know that the person he loved was lost.

The last persons words filled the room and all fell silent again as they took their seat, soft claps filling the room until those fell silent to.

It was now or never, soon the lid would be sealed and Simon buried under the ground, and Josh felt himself stand at this final chance. He promised he wouldn't, but here he was, going to see Simon anyway.

His breath hitched in his throat as he looked inside, seeing just how Simon had looked for the first time. His snow skin was even paler, his limbs laying limply by his lanky frame as he lay still. His eyes were sealed shut and his lips curved into a small frown, although it was barely noticeable. Josh couldn't help but think how much Simon looked like a doll, neatly tucked away in a box with fair skin and blonde hair that still kept true. Yes, that made it easier. Thinking of the boy in the coffin as a doll and not someone he used to know made it slightly easier.

And before he knew it the coffin was closed, Simon being taken away from him forever as they hid the blonde beauty behind an unforgiving frame of wood. It was heart breaking to see, and Josh could feel himself tearing apart almost as fast as the crumpled speech he had once held in his hand.

"I love you Simon. I really do."

He found himself whispering that, although he knew it would be of no use. It didn't stop the rapid flow of tears nor did it bring Simon back, no, he was forever stuck under a seal of wood forever.

And ultimately, it didn't matter because it was to late. Simon couldn't hear him, or reply, or anything else. And the reason why Simon would soon be 6 feet under ground was purely his fault.

He couldn't bear to see this anymore, to deal with the fact that he was a horrid monster, and he headed towards the door. He didn't deserve to be with these people mourning, to be anywhere near Simons body after not helping him and in the end causing the younger to pull the plug.

No he couldn't bear it anymore. His fingers grazed the doorknob as he turned away from the rest of the people, his breaths growing fast as he debated on leaving.

No, he had to. It wasn't right to stay.

"Goodbye Simon." Josh whispered, and then that was it.

He opened the door, and with that final goodbye Josh left.

~END~