You Had Me At Hello || z.m.

Not Falling Asleep

After I broke up with my first boyfriend, I started being quite isolated from the world. The only person that used to be really close to me was Alice. I never really connected to anybody else. We used to spend hours and hours together, laughing, joking, teasing each other, and didn't really care about anybody else. It's pretty weird how much things changed, since we're here, in Bradford. We're both completely different, yet the same inseparable friends we used to be. I now have Liam, who has become a great friend to me. He's really sensitive and mature, we talk about anything, exchanging advices and opinions. He's the smart brother I always wanted. I also have Niall, Louis and Harry, who are good friends of mine, despite the sentimental implications (and sexual attraction...). But most of all I have Zayn. I'm scared by how quickly he has become so important to me. It's useless to say stuff like "I think about him every minute of the day" or "he's the most beautiful guy I've ever met". It's something that goes far beyond that. I feel like he got in touch with a inner part of me that nobody could see. His presence has an effect on me that I can't explain. I've never felt this way before. And that scares the shit out of me, because I feel terribly vulnerable.

I'm laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. It's 4 am and I can't sleep. Zayn just drove me home, after...after our time together in his bedroom.

"It's really late!" I claimed yawning, seeing that it was already 3 am.

"If you're tired, you can sleep." Zayn was still naked, cuddled up under the sheets. One of his arms was under my neck, the other was rested on my tummy. I was still naked too, and I was playing with his stubble, rubbing my finger on his rough face.

"And what about tomorrow morning? What will your mom think, Zayn?"

Our faces were inches apart, and we talked really quietly, in order not to be heard by his family.

"Well. You came in my room and stayed here for about 6 hours...I think my family might have understood what's going on!" he cheekily sentenced, while I hided my face behind the sheets in embarrassment, making him giggle.

"Don't worry, Irene...my mom adores you, I think she'll be happy!"

I smiled at him, and sweetly kissed his lips.

"Thanks but...it would still be pretty weird if tomorrow morning, waking up, she found me wandering around her house with the same dressed I had yesterday night...don't you think so?"

Zayn thought for a few time, before agreeing with me. We cuddled some more, before getting up and leaving the house. He drove me to my flat, and before letting me go, he grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him. He stopped his face in front of mine and observed with an absent-minded smile, fixing a lock of my hair, before giving me quick kiss on the lips. "Good night babe!", he whispered, with that typical accent of his.

So, now I've been laying here for about an hour, and I can't fall asleep. I can't stop thinking about what just happened. It wasn't just a beautiful dream, was it?

I close my eyes, trying to sleep, because despite the excitement, I'm really tired. Alice is snoring beside me, I can hear her deep breath and I can glimpse her softly smiling. I guess I know who she's dreaming about. I really envy her right now. Not because I think that Louis is better than Zayn, or because she's more in love than me. Just because her sentimental life seems to be much simpler than mine. From the moment Louis laid his eyes on Alice, you could sense his interest, his devotion. They started dating and now they are a couple. A normal couple of guys that love each other. They hang out, go to the cinema, have dinner together, sleep together, hold hands, laugh together, text.... I know it might sound "boring" maybe, but I think that being in love with someone is being excited and always happy about doing normal and maybe boring stuff. If you're with your special one, everything seems funny and perfect, no matter what.

But between me and Zayn...everything is different. It's complicated. He is complicated. Staying with him, talking with him, touching him, is the best feeling ever. Everything about him is the best thing ever. But I fear his feelings, his thoughts he's hiding from me. From everyone, including Liam, who should be is best friend. He doesn't opens up with anybody. He's mysterious, deep, shy, reserved. And the problem is I like every shade of his personality, even the darkest ones. He may not be perfect, but...something inside me tells me he's perfect for me.