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Chapter 5

Oh no, that can't be possible. I think that I... I don't even want to say it. I started to cry. I realized that *sniff* the person I fell in love with is...

My teacher. *sniff* It's Mrs Murphy. I don't know why or how it happened, but I really like her.

Gee, am I really thinking about this stupid situation? Am I really a lesbian? That just can't be true! It's not fair. I am in the age when I am supposed to find a boyfriend, not a GIRLFRIEND. Especially not my teacher. But she is a different type of teacher. She gave me a hug, she smiled at me, she drove me home...

It just makes so much sense now. I was so hypnotized every time she looked at me or talked to me. I was the only one who found her pretty, the only one who laughed at her corny jokes. Why? Why me?

Tears were falling down my rosy red cheeks. Suddenly my mom opened the door to my room, I covered my face with a blanket trying to hide my tears. I felt ashamed and unprepared to talk to her.

"Sweetie, are you sleeping?" she sat down on the edge of my bed.

"N-no, I am not." I replied. What am I doing? Do I wanna tell her about it? It's so hard.

"What happened?" she asked with worried face.

"I... Humm. N-nothing." I wasn't able to tell her the truth so I lied. "I fell in love with one guy but he rejected me."

That was a really bad lie. I'm so stupid.

"Ohhh, really? I am really sorry for that. I know that being broken-hearted is such a miserable feeling but you are stronger so I know that..." she just kept talking and I was crying harder since I knew a can't tell anybody about my feelings to Mrs Murphy.

"Thank you mom, I feel much better now." I smiled.

"I'll make dinner for you!" she left my room.

I am in such an awful situation. I love married woman that is my teacher and I can't tell anybody about it. I have never loved a person as much as I love Mrs Murphy.

I decided to hide my feelings. It was so hard and confusing since I didn't really date a boy nor girl. The next two days went horribly. I felt empty, miserable...

I wanted to prove myself that my feelings to Mrs Murphy are not real. I called Adam and arranged our date, I didn't know what I was doing.

On Thursday evening I went out with him. It wasn't a real date I would say. We were talking in a small park next to the street he lives. It was really nice talking to him, but the whole situation changed rapidly when we were leaving.

"It's really cold, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yes, it is." I was literally freezing. I was wearing really light dress without any jacket! He noticed my shaky legs and gave me his jacket.

"Here you are."

"Thank you Adam." I smiled.

After a few minutes, he put his hand around my hips and pulled me closer. I looked at him as he was getting closer and closer.

"We have to go different directions, so I guess I have to say bye now." he whispered to my ear.

I couldn't even reply. Suddenly I felt his lips touching mine. He kissed me softly then pulled back and pulled me closer again. Our bodies were touching everywhere. He grabbed my ass and started to kiss me pasionatelly but I couldn't do it, it was so weird and uncomfortable.

I pushed his chest and stopped kissing him. He looked at me confused.

"S-sorry, I can't do this."

Adam was silent.

"I am really sorry." I apologised.

"I think we should go." he said without any emotions in his voice.

And now I know the truth.