Hey guys here's a little life update to let you know where I've been.
I don't really remember telling you guys but just in case I'm going to anyways, I have pretty bad depression and anxiety. And because of a past event (6 years to be exact) I've been having a lot of recent thoughts about it. And two weeks ago I tried to kill myself. My friends found out the next day, drama ensued and I was taken to the ER on Friday of that week. Now if you haven't been to the ER for Mental reasons just know it's scary and for me it was hard because I just wanted to go home and be okay. I cried a lot that day.
Because of me still being slightly suicidal they had to look for a hospital I could stay at for a few days. Finally they found one and I was off. I spent that Friday night through last Wednesday in a hospital about 30 minutes from where I live. It was scary at first. I was in a new place for reasons I didn't want to admit. But it helped, despite my first few anxious days. It really did help. They had amazing staff and very qualified doctors and social workers. The other few kids I met there were pretty nice, we all had separate reasons for being there and yet we all were there for each other and became friends at a decent rate. Now I'm not allowed to share specific details like where I was, who was there, what exactly happened. But it was a good experience that benefited me.
I am doing better than that week but I'm still pretty bad, and really overwhelmed.
Getting back home and dealing with the confrontation of what happened has been difficult, I'm still having problems speaking to my mother about it. And school is so hard to make it through. I try so hard but there is so much to do. And it just gets to be too much to handle.
But I'm working to improve myself, trying harder to have coping mechanisms. To have a calm environment to go to when needed.
If you guys are going through something right now, and ever feel like there is no one you can go to, please message me. I will immediately give you my personal email address or phone number. And if you are okay right now but think you might need another source of help then you can still message me and I will give you my contact info. I love you all guys and thanks for being here and taking the time to read this.
I'll see you guys later. Bye!
