Cooking with Astrid and Hiccup

Episode 3: Béarnaise sauce and Kielbasa, Potato and Cabbage soup

Episode 3: Béarnaise sauce and Kielbasa, Potato and Cabbage soup

"Hello everybody and welcome to our show cooking with Astrid and Hiccup. I'm Hiccup and this is my co-host Astrid." Hiccup introduces Astrid who simply stomped onto the stage.

"Eh......Astrid. You're up." Hiccup said hesitantly upon seeing the rage in Astrid's eyes.

"Hello everybody." Astrid simply stated.

"Okay Astrid. What's wrong?" Hiccup asked a little worried.

"What's wrong!! What's wrong!!" Astrid shouted. "I'll tell you what's wrong. Eret just dumped me over the phone!!!"

Astrid's ire caused Hiccup to take a step back. The entire set was utterly silent. No one knew what to say after that outburst.

"Okay.........So Eret is a douche." Hiccup stated and then he got an idea. "How would you like to vent all that anger? I got the perfect recipe."

"You do?" Astrid asked as Hiccup then turned towards Tuffnut.

"Tuffnut, we'll be changing today's episode." Hiccup simply stated and then led Astrid behind the counter.

"Now today we will be doing two recipes. A Béarnaise sauce and Kielbasa, potato and cabbage soup."

"Hiccup how will any of this help me?" Astrid asked as Hiccup just gave her a smirk.

"I'll be handling the sauce while you get every sharp knife you own." Hiccup stated.

"Every knife?" Astrid asked perplexed but Hiccup shooed her off stage. At this point whispers ran through the studio about how Hiccup had lost his marbles. He was in fact actively encouraging Astrid to wield sharp pointy objects around.

"Now don't you all worry." Hiccup stated and began to take out the ingredients for the sauce. "Béarnaise sauce goes the best with steak but it can also be spread over poached eggs and roasted fish."

"We'll be needing 1/4 cup white-wine vinegar, 1 small shallot, peeled and minced, 1/2 teaspoon freshly cracked black pepper, 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon chopped tarragon leaves, 2 egg yolks, 12 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, Kosher salt, to taste and a splash of lemon juice, which is optional.

"Now put the vinegar, shallots, black pepper and 1 tablespoon of tarragon leaves into a small saucepan, and set over a medium flame. Bring just to a boil, and then reduce heat to a simmer until there are only a few tablespoons of liquid left, approximately 5 minutes. Remove from heat, and set aside to cool." Hiccup explained as he simultaneously demonstrated it.

"Next we fill a small saucepan with an inch or two of water, and set over medium-high heat to boil."

"Put the cooled shallot-and-tarragon mixture into a metal mixing bowl along with a tablespoon of water and the egg yolks, then whisk to combine." Hiccup showed them but it was going a lot slower with only one person.

"Next turn the heat under the saucepan of water down to its lowest setting, and put the bowl on top of the pan, making sure that it does not touch the water directly. Continue to whisk the yolks until they thicken, approximately 5 to 7 minutes. You should just about double the volume of the yolks."

"Slowly beat in the butter, a tablespoon or two at a time, whisking slowly to combine and emulsify. Remove the bowl from the pan occasionally, so as not to overcook the eggs, and taste the sauce. Season with salt. If the flavor is not sharp enough, add a splash of lemon juice. If the sauce is too thick, stir in a splash of hot water. Add the remaining teaspoon of tarragon leaves, and serve. That's all to it." Hiccup stated and the audience just sat there in shocked silence. There was no incident. No accidental fire. No running for their lives, and it was utterly shocking.

There was a clang and Astrid returned on set with a wheelbarrow full of knives, swords and her favorite axe. Audible gulps could now be heard from the audience.

"We'll be having a short break." Hiccup stated "and then we will be making the Kielbasa, Potato and Cabbage soup."

When the show came back on Astrid had already laid out most of her knives on the counter and was currently busy sharpening her axe.

"Hiccup is this such a good idea?" Fishlegs whispered as Ruffnut brought out two wheelbarrows of cabbages.

"It's better than her trying to vent her frustrations to a shrink again." Hiccup whispered back. "That poor woman is still traumatized to come into her own office."

"Welcome back everybody." Hiccup said happily as he looked to the audience who were eyeing the sharp knives warily. "Now for our next dish we'll need 2 tablespoons olive or vegetable oil, 1 1/4 pounds (1 ring) kielbasa, 1-inch dice, 1 pound (1 large or 2 medium) starchy potato, such as russet, peeled and chopped, 1 tablespoon paprika, 1 scant palmful, 1/2 tablespoon coriander, half a palmful, 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice, 2 carrots, chopped, 2 ribs celery, chopped, 2 cloves garlic, crushed, 1 onion, chopped, Salt and freshly ground black pepper, 1/2 head savoy cabbage, shredded, A few grates nutmeg, 1 cup lager beer at room temp, 4 cups chicken stock, 2 cups tomato passata or puree, 1/2 cup creme fraiche, 3 tablespoons chopped fresh dill or 1 1/2 teaspoons dried, Handful fresh parsley leaves, chopped, and 1/2 lemon, juiced."

"Hiccup I don't see how this is going to help with my anger." Astrid said while folding her arms.

Hiccup picks up a cabbage from the pile and then places it in front of Astrid. "The recipe calls for shredded cabbage. These are still whole."

"So you want me to shred cabbages? I still don't see how......." Astrid stated with an unsure look but Hiccup just smirked.

"Think of them as Eret and vent away." No sooner had Hiccup said this when a the first cabbage was impaled by Astrid's axe. Astrid went to work on the cabbages like no tomorrow and the crew and audience actually winced as they were imagining which parts of Eret Astrid was thinking about chopping up.

"Now to start this soup we heat the oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat, and add the kielbasa and brown. Then remove the kielbasa to a paper towel-lined plate. Add the potatoes, paprika, coriander, allspice, carrots, celery, garlic, onions and some salt and pepper. Cook, partially covered, 5 to 6 minutes." Hiccup demonstrated and then looked over to Astrid who had already chopped up several cabbages. Some even looked minced as Astrid was working through her serrated knife collection.

Hiccup then filled a bowl with some of the shredded cabbage and went back to explaining. "We then wilt in the cabbage and season it with a little nutmeg. Deglaze the pan with the beer and then add the stock and passata, then slide the kielbasa back in the pot and simmer to combine flavors for 15 minutes."

"Once this is done cool and store for a make-ahead meal. Reheat over medium heat. Finish the soup with the creme fraiche, herbs and lemon juice; and serve in shallow bowls."

As Hiccup finished explaining he looked to Astrid who was looking calmer than before. Astrid let out an elated sigh and then calmly walked over to Hiccup and kissed his cheek.

This action caused Hiccup to become speechless and as he was trying (and failing) to formulate words and sentences Astrid addressed the audience.

"Thank you all for joining us today. We hope to see you soon."

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Producer's note: The producer has been unable to remove any sharp objects from Astrid and was threatened with bodily harm. So instead better health insurance will be given to those working on this show. Be advised the safety of the audience cannot be guaranteed.